Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by andyc68, Nov 3, 2008.

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  1. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    god, what a waste i have made of my life, things should be better than this but i have ended up alone and lonely facing unemployment, bankrupcy and maybe even homeless.
    i can't tell anyone about how i feel coz they just won't understand, my dads thinking will be like a bull in a china shop on speed, but the funny thing is i want to be left alone yet don't.
    i have one real friend but i can't let him down by admitting i have failed, i have another friend who i can't really open up to coz its new and she has her own issues and i don't want to let her down.
    sometimes i feel ok yet others i just want to crawl into bed and cry, its just too much.
    yet, like a good boy i carry on, when asked i say yes i am fine with my mask firmly fixed like a second, well worn skin.
    what a waste of life this is turning out to be.
  2. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Read your post and felt it was almost exactly what I could have written myself. I'm in a very similar position but find that mask harder and harder to wear. PM me if you want a chat anytime. Best of luck.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I do not know one person who has not felt like this...it is what you do with feeling like this, that is the challange...hope you find things that are worthy of your goodness...big hugs, J
  4. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    Andy *hugs*. You can talk to me anytime ok. Have you started applying for other jobs? apply apply apply. If i can get a shitty job so can you, even if its a bar man. lol. If you need someone to talk to, im here okay?
  5. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    There must be some positives in your life and some positives that you can work towards. How long have you felt this way for.
  6. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Hope that things get better soon!:hug:
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Andy,
    I am sorry you feel this way. I have read your posts and you are always full of advise and strength. Now it's your turn, please read what the others are saying to you. You are loved by quite a few ppl. You know we have your back so feel free to PM some of us. I for one appreciate what support you have offered me and if I can do anything to make you feel better I will. Take Care my friend!!~Joseph~
  8. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    thank you all for your kind words.

    i have decided to go back to my GP and ask for meds again, i came off them too early. in my own stupidity i thought i could handle things but now with the redundancies i am slowly losing it, i have started cutting again even though i know it wont help and not the best thing to do but its all i have.

    i get up alone and go to work, spend 12 hours going thru the motions then return home again to an empty house, no one comes round to see me or check up on me coz i have done a great job in convincing pll i am ok.

    this really isnt how my life was meant to be, or maybe it is? i am after all a loner, i am best sitting alone doing my own thing and not talking.
    but i am still lonely and i feel it everyday even when surrounded by people.

    maybe its time to get back to the fight and hopefully delay my financial death, put on my suit of armour and saddle my steadfast steed for the next encounter with the blackness of my life and give a good account of myself .

    once i had so much to be happy for but that was taken away from me and she is still doing it, everything is just wearing me down.

    oh well, i can hear the horns of battle calling me, the clash of steel and the screams of the dying so i must go. shame my armour is made of paper.
  9. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    It's good that your gonna see your GP and get back on the meds. That should be of big help to you. You still have alot of potential in you and your still young.

    By the way, i've seen that you have said "she is still doing it"
    Does this mean there is somebody involved in you feeling this way.
  10. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    I hope that things will turn around and you won't go under. You will not be homeless and bankrupt.
  11. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    i feel like giving up

    i want to give up

    i can't explain it, i have no answers
    i feel like a tightly coiled spring inside, my emotions are running wild
  12. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Dear Andy, I am sorry for you feeling so bad right now but remember the past where you been and how you have overcome this all, this will happend again if you look further than the present. There is a light out there to be found, just dont give up hun. You are needed and wanted by many people beside your kids.

    I send you a big hug to warm up your soul

    pm me or talk to me on messenger at granny1@live.it

    I'll always find time for you if you need to talk.

    granny xox
  13. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    yet another saturday night and nothing to do and no one to talk to.
    i just can't snap out of this mood, its so bad i can't even be bothered to get drunk.
    another night of trawling the tv channels b4 i just give up.:blub:
  14. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to chat or are in need of some one to listen to you.
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