i am feeling so lonely, so alone, it hurts so much. how do people get to have friends, girlfriends and boyfriends? how do people get to know new people, make friendship, build a family? i dont know. i've always been alone. a loner... secretly scared of and at the same time whishing for intimacy. now being alone hurts so much it makes me cry... and i never cry. im feeling so hopeless. it will always hurt this much. so why bother, why hanging on?