loney&scared

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by themute, Jun 27, 2014.

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  1. themute

    themute Active Member

    Hi, I am 25 and I barely see people, and lately I've had very overwhelming hypochondria anxiety. The anxiety has been too much to handle, and the isolation is making it worse and making me more and more depressed. I really don't know what to do. The 3 people I am friends with in my city I barely see, and because I've lived in 2 other countries the people I was close with before I no longer really know. I've been back in Canada for 3 years now and still barely see anyone despite trying out different groups and classes. While I do have friends it's just that they live in different countries so the distance makes it as though we aren't friends anymore, they have their own lives so they aren't in contact regularly. At one point I thought I had made a new friend here from a anxiety/depression support group I go to, but he ended up really aggravating my anxiety by talking about random health issues, diseases and other intense, dark stuff, even when I asked him to stop he didn't really listen, and there is no way I can deal with that right now, or probably ever. Unfortunately I also feel as though I can't go back to the group because of this. Last week I hung out with a guy who I was involved with on/off for about a year. He's someone I've always felt really connected to, and hanging out was fun, we even had a heart to heart, but afterwards I felt lonelier than ever. While he talked about being lonely, and on a deeper level he might even be lonelier than me, he has quite a few friends and probably other girls he's seeing, so I don't really think he sees me as someone to spend time with on a regular basis, I mean before last week I hadn't seen him for a whole year. I feel scared and lonely almost all of the time. I don't see this getting better. I am currently seeing a therapist and she's pretty great, so I have that going for me, and she is helping with my anxiety, but I don't think anything can help this loneliness. I have a lot to be grateful for, my parents support me so I don't have to worry about money as I am currently unemployed, I've been able to travel, but none of that really helps with the anxiety and the loneliness. When I moved back here I was optimistic about my future and the possibilities of meeting new people, but now I just can't see it getting any better. I have two jobs lined up for September, so that's something, but in general I feel like I shouldn't be here, I really can't handle life, being alive. All of the time I have this 'I want to go home' feeling, even when I am home. It's like there's a place I'm meant to be instead of here that is impossible for me to get to. When I was a kid I didn't really have friends, and I always believed that at this point in my life I would have friends, but I don't. It feels like there is no one to count on. When people say they'll be there for you ultimately they aren't, or they forget, or they say it out of selfishness, this has been my experience so far at least. And it's not to say that it's even their fault, I think I just haven't been lucky in terms of friendships/relationships. This fear and loneliness is destroying me and in a way it feels like my time is up. I am not going to hurt myself, I know that… it just feels like it's over regardless.
     
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I relate to what you say, I have a lot of anxiety issues and I'm very lonely. I discovered this site called meetup.com, it's about people meeting in groups doing different things, like a writing group, a movie group, a dancing group, learning japanese group etc...they have them in every city, you just go on the link and see. That way you could meet people and maybe make friends. I'm going to try it soon, I'll probably have to kick myself in the butt to do it but I'll keep at it...

    have you tried joining an activity? like arts or jewelry making? Or join a book club?
     
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