Long and painful death

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by PostBlue, Dec 3, 2008.

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  1. PostBlue

    PostBlue Member

    When I think about it, I think that towards the end my Anorexia was a suicide attempt. I almost died too, if i did die then nobody would have thought that it was suicide, just a medical complication.

    Starvation in painful, but it's what i deserve. I deserve to die a long painful death. I'm still anorexic but i can't try to starve myself to death until after i turn 18 that way no one can stop me, but no one should even stop me anyway. I have a right to die and a right to do what i want with my body. If things get really bad i'll kill myself anyway and make it look like an accident cuz i can't wait that long to die 2 1/2+ years to die

    I know this sounds awful, but sometimes i wish that i had cancer or will get cancer (I was tested negitive for cancer when i was at risk in my childhood) because then I could die they way i deserve and nobody could stop it.
  2. crackedglass

    crackedglass Well-Known Member

    hun you do not deserve to die!
    what makes you feel like this hun?
    asking for a thing such as cancer isnt good, because if you got it, it doesnt mean you'd die, because more and more people live through it and recover.
    i can understand the feeling of self negativity but you dont need to hurt yourself, your so young and you've got your whole future ahead of you.
    you've done nothing to deserve to die a long and painful death, let alone even die!
    please stay strong hun..pm me if you need to talk :hug: :cuddle2: x x x
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Post Blue,
    My neice was just like you when she was younger. She was in and out of the hospital a few times. She finally found her husband and they dated a few years. Now they have three beautiful kids. She has twin girls and a two year old son. She has her spells of depression but manages to pull herself together for her family.
    Please don't harm yourself, you never know what awaits you around the corner. You are so young and haven't even experienced life yet. Let us help. If you want more one on one talk then just PM one of us and we will gladly talk to you. Take Care!!~Joseph~
  4. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    You don't deserve cancer, you've done nothing wrong! You just have a medical condition, and it IS treatable.

    Stay strong.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Postblue,

    You don't deserve to die. What makes you think that you do? I hope you get professional help for your anorexia. I'm here if you need to talk :hug:
  6. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    Post blue I can relate, today I passed out after getting out of a hot pool and had a seizure, my head was nodding and my hands were moivng and I was out of it for about 10 seconds. I am short of breath and sometimes have to take 2 breaths. But I don't really care. I haven't been to see the doctor about it.
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