When I think about it, I think that towards the end my Anorexia was a suicide attempt. I almost died too, if i did die then nobody would have thought that it was suicide, just a medical complication. Starvation in painful, but it's what i deserve. I deserve to die a long painful death. I'm still anorexic but i can't try to starve myself to death until after i turn 18 that way no one can stop me, but no one should even stop me anyway. I have a right to die and a right to do what i want with my body. If things get really bad i'll kill myself anyway and make it look like an accident cuz i can't wait that long to die 2 1/2+ years to die I know this sounds awful, but sometimes i wish that i had cancer or will get cancer (I was tested negitive for cancer when i was at risk in my childhood) because then I could die they way i deserve and nobody could stop it.