long distance relationships and sex addiction

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by mixedemotions, Jun 3, 2008.

  1. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    yeah sooooo alot of you that know me and kastsu, will know that we are an "item" (god i hate that term but never mind) soo here how it goes, i come on SF to get away from it all and when i first joined i thought it was gonna be a pro suicide site and not pro life site. how i was happy when i realised this site was gonna do me some good in the long run...

    any way so i got to know katsu, really well and fell in love, yeah so ya gonna be thinking, how can you fall for some one you aint even met, well i did...and now i don't think i could be without him. he has totally changed my life for the better and its all due to joining the site, that night way back in december.

    right....sooo i love him so much it hurts me not to be with him, its a long distance thing and although we have met a few times and the time spent together has been amazing! its still not enough for me, i need him beside me. i need him to be there to hold me when im sat awake at night having a "moment". it might sound stupid but knowing he is there just to listen helps with the pain. even if we both just sat there in silence, the pressence of him is amazing.

    katsu knows how i feel and i have even told him how i have considered moving to be closer to him, but its not that simple! we both have really important comitments, him even more so than me.

    soooo any way, back to what i actually wanted to say, i want to know if any one else on here is in a long distance relationship? even more so if it is with another member?
    please help? i
    wanna know if this is gonna get any easier for us both??

    the only thing is no matter how much i love him and never want to hurt him i have issues in my life that are stopping me from doing this....

    the main thing is that i suffer from sex addiction, (its not a laughing matter) some time it gets really hard for me, and although i have never cheated on him and never will...no matter how tough it gets for me. no matter how angry i get at my self and triggered id never do that to him....

    i want to know if there is any thing out there that will help me?? apart from councilling and stuff (ive tried) they dont stop the feelings from coming back

    please help

    and once more i love you babes

    always and forever

    and im sorry if this upsets up but i need help. i cant handle this by my self :mellow::sad:
  2. Christianv2

    Christianv2 Well-Known Member

    Congrats on you two finding each other in this crazy world, no matter how you found each other. Yes, sex addiction is not a joke, its a very serious matter. Its just like other addictions where you have a physical dependence on something and affects your regular daily living. Long distance relationships are hard, but I wish you guys the best. And yeah, I believe you can fall in love without even seeing someone, I think its all about the emotional connection, not physical.
  3. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    wtg you two.

    i am in the same boat but with a twist, i met my baby here aswel but she lives thousands of miles away and 6 hours behind us, we have chatted online and on phone but yet to meet.
    these things can work but they just need time and patience and alot of trust as we all have our problems and you need to understand and deal with that which isnt easy.
    all good things come to those who wait hun.

    as for the sex thing, well i dont think i can help there, i have a very high sex drive but i can handle the situation.

    hope things work out for you guys.

    only a pm away

    take care
  4. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    hey peeps, just want to say thanks for the advice ya have gave me. im a little bit of a stress head and worry to much about things that really mean some thing to me.i dont wanna mess up my relationship but sex addiction can get in the way,its hard for me. i am glad to say tho that i have stopped my self since we got serious. im keepin my self for him.andhim only. i love him to much to loose him

    thanks again
  5. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    i can understand how hard it can be hun, but there are ways to relieve the tension so to speak lol, just stick with it hun, if you want this then go for it.
  6. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Last year I fell in love with another member and we also got together before we actually met up (she was, like Andy's situation, on another continent). We broke up at some point due to several issues, but she came to visit me anyway that summer. And when she was here we got back together.
    All good fun and all.
    And then she went back home.
    The distance was unbearable. And I cheated on her.
    I couldn't keep it in me pants, so to say. And that's why we broke up. :unsure:
    Though now we both agree that if it hadn't been me going off and cheating, the distance would've killed us eventually.

    I think though, that as you are able to meet up every now and then, you have an advantage. You can actually meet up now and then, and not just once a year or even less.

    For the sex addiction. Well I don't know much about that, but I can suggest masturbation... And there's always cybersex, i guess. And even though that's not nearly as 'satisfying' as the real deal, it's better than nothing.. :rolleyes:

    I have a more uplifting story btw.
    A friend of mine, who lives over here in Europe, met her boyfriend online. He lives in the US. They have now been a couple for over 2 years, and in those two years they've had the ability to actually meet up and be together 3 or 4 times. They both have never cheated on each other and probably will never.
    So that proves to me that sometimes, love can conquer anything.
  7. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    ha ha cybersex!! i never actually thought about that but its true its not half as good. thanks for the suggestions.

    as for the masturbation....well i dont really know what to say as i dont think its any use to me qas it just makes me worse. id rather haver his skin on mine or his breathe on my neck..

    ilove the closenes, the smell and the emotion you feel through yes. you dont get by your self. its difficult to explain but i just try and cope. i try not to be alone with any one that could be a "threat" to the relationship. its difficult but it gotta be done.

    what makes it worse is that im a bisexual, its not as tho i just gotta stay away from men, every thing turns me on!! like every thing. but hey...that just my mind

    thanks for the advice
  8. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    Don't put all your eggs in one basket. You might end up feeling worse than you've ever felt in your entire life. Live for you as well as him.
  9. Joshuwah

    Joshuwah Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the confidence vote pete :dry::dry:
  10. starchild

    starchild Well-Known Member

    I've been in a long distance relationship once before but it didn't really work out, mainly because I don't think she liked the idea of the cost of travel to see oneanother.

    I know how you feel about realy connecting with someone you have never met, as I've had that at least three times from people I've talked to on the net. I think it's easy to tell when it's a genuine bond that could grow and when it's just mere online flirting.
  11. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    Didn't mean about a relationship failure. But if your down and out and that's the only thing that you have, then even a little tiff can leave you feeling like everything is gone. Just my experience.
  12. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    As long as you don't fall into the line of promiscuity, what could possibly be the problem with sex addiction? You and him, in contrast to those that do not have it, will be much closer to the purpose of life that way, 'cause honestly, how could sex under true love not be the purpose of life? When the two of you move together, honestly, will you see it as a problem that you have sex addiction?
  13. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    I don't know much about sex addiction but I do take your word for how hard it is. However, it sounds like your relationship is going great considering the distance factor! You don't betray him and that's that. If it really gets tough though, the best thing is to have a plan ready to see eachother. Life gets in the way of love sometimes yeah, but if you think you're meant to be, better be safe than sorry, neh? I wish you luck and I hope you can work this out, because it sounds like you really make eachother happy.
  14. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    you kinda confussed me with this.....but this it was a problem bcoz iat times it takes over my life. and i understand that maybe if we live togther it maky be different. but that doesnt take the urges away of being unfaithful...

    id never do that to him. i would never do anything to hurt him because i love him soo muc, but its hard at times and he understands that it is for me...and thi is y he keeps up with my demands the best he can...but i wont go into that...

    any way thanks for all ya help and thanks josh :biggrin:love you babes!!! x x
  15. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    What I basically meant was that as long as one reserves oneself for one person, sex addiction is nothing but great. Maybe I should have been more specific.
  16. laurenelizabeth09leb

    laurenelizabeth09leb Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel about wondering about the whole love thing in a long distance relationship...

    The way I see it is if your relationship can survive that your good to go in the long run. It's more a test of love and faith...

    My current boyfriend and I have known each other for 4 years only over the internet, he's saved my life many times and I thank him for that. Now I see that there is no one else I would rather be with other then him and he's all I'll ever need.

    The fun part is when you actually meet... which for me and my boyfriends case is in 7 days... but yeah... you'll figure it out and it is an amazing thing to be in love like that.

    PM me if you want and we can talk more
  17. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    the best thing in the world, is when we actually get to see each other, all my troubles just seem to vanish and he makes every thing worth while. its the leaving that kills me, i cant bare to his face when the train pulls away from the station. both of us holding back tears to try not see the other upset. it kills me inside to know he is feeling like that...

    the first week away from him is always the worst bcoz i miss him more than ever. he is all i ever think about.....

    and i just thought id say that... the sex addiction aint a problem when we are together, its when we are apart and i have to stop my self from gettin into horrible situations. i am often scared to leave the house on a night out with friends (drinking) incase i do some thing i will regret in the morning. i love him so much and would never do any thing to hurt him. i tel him every thing and i couldnt keep some thing like that away from him. he deserves to know, so that he can see what im truely like and for him to build trust. i love him so much and when im without him, i feel so alone and empty. i need him

    i love him