Sorry to everyone. You'll probably think this is stupid. I'm 19 by the way, just so everyone knows. My life doesn't seem like to be going anywhere. For a year after high school I went to follow love, but it didn't work out. So now I'm in square one, and now very depressed. Nothing seems to be going right for me, my dream school, that I've been wanting to go to for years, I was accepted into it with flying colors, due to my good grades. Sadly though, I didn't have the funding to go. I didn't know that culinary school would be 60k, not including the cost of living. Even with all my scholarships and grants, no one could help me. No one could cosign a private loan for me because both my parents passed away, and the rest of my family, well, I don't know what is going on in their heads. I would of left the college in tears if I wasn't with my friend, who drove me there. I know what a lot of you people are going to say, "what about another school?" Well.. All I know to do is to cook, which has been my passion for a years, so now my dream job is pretty much out the window, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. So now I'm living with my brother and sister. We are still in the same house we've been in for years, but now we have to take care of the mortgage, and all the bills. So now I have to get a job that means nothing to me, just like when I left for love...I worked at a job that was pointless...and it made me depressed.. Anyway, so now I have to get a job just like that, making pretty much minimum wage, wasting my life away at a stupid job where I can't express myself. I don't like my brother and sister to much. My brother is a depressed childish kid, even though he is my twin, while my sister is a immature little girl, who loves to be the center of attention and is a control freak, she is 22. I feel like I'm the most mature person in the family, and I'm the youngest. I don't have many friends either, maybe 4 at most. This is because I put forth a lot of initiative in friendships and relationships, and far to many people take that the wrong way, so I end up being the stalker, creepy guy, when all they needed to do was tell me... Plus the fact that I'm a feminine guy doesn't help much at all. No, I'm not gay. My best friend is a girl who lives far away (pathetic right?) who I basically call sister, and she calls me her brother. Thing is, I'm even insecure about her. I fear she is going to leave me like everyone else. I fear that I'm just a problem for her, and that she is there sometimes just so I won't do anything drastic, even though she has helped me with everything. She helped me brake it off with the girl I ran off too (Completely worth it) and helped me through depressing times. She showed me the "Mylifeisg.com" site. It made me very depressed and caused me to cry. All these great things are happening to so many people, and I'm stuck in my horrible life. (And I know so many people have worse, I'm sorry). I want things to work, I really do, I just... don't see the good of what is to come, I don't see me getting anywhere in life. Just being a complete failure.