I have tried atleast 40 times to kill myself and have ended up in ICU everytime. 15 yrs ago I had a car accident from drinking and almost died. was in a coma for 3 weeks had a traumatic brain injury, but can function. the depression just hangs on longer now. I am in pain all the time. have no insurance/ I have a 22 y/o son who is currently in prison, been in/out since 11. cant visit because of restraining order i filed on him. I am an alcoholic/bipolar, and there is no hope. i havent spent any holiday with him since he was 11. I was abusive,,physically and mentally. I am only 39. I lost my job 2 years ago, when I got another one it lasted about 5 months. They said I just didnt fit in, so I should just go back on unemployment. I couldnt afford my new home that I built in 2003. So I moved out and let my ex move in with the woman he cheated on me with. then last year my new truck was reposessed. and oh yeah, i am living with my mother who by the way just gave a 30 day notice to move out. i have no where to go and have 11 days to find a place. i have no car, but a house full of great furniture. i have no money and no one in my family will help, they think my depression is SELFISHNESS. my logic....i need to start over somewhere where noone knows me. then maybe i can make some friends. oohhh i cant, i have no money. i have lived in the same town since i was 10. and all my friends have written me off also.