Been almost a year since I have been here. Holidays are upon us and today I am so blue. The friends I do have depend on me and I can't seem to spread myself to please everybody. Yet nobody has any concern about my welfare. I was so fortunate enough to get into relationships but its so hollow to realize they have never even asked how MY day was. Tonight I rid myself of all this baggage and in return I find myself riddled with feelings of guilt for wanting what I want from life. I feel trapped and obligated for things I never discussed. I don't know how to say no. I only know how to be passive and give in. Its the holidays soon and I am being told how to spend Thanksgiving. i booted her ass out and in return am spread with feelings of guilt. Life does bite and I do my best.