I have been a member of this site since it was known as "Suicide Forum", and I am at that stage again of attempting suicide, but with a very different method. Before I describe anything else, I have been kicked out of a community college and a Japanese class I was taking for having an outburst crying, saying statements I shouldn't have said, but with that said, I no longer have anything to live for. And the decision making took a week, and in that week, I started to go on three hour hikes, and lost a lot of weight. I used to be 155, and now I'm 147 at 5 8, but I just want to get slimmer and slimmer until I die out. That is how I am thinking about killing myself. Since I cannot drink alcohol because of my medication, I just hike, but apparently that doesn't make me that much happier, so I just want to become anorexic and die like that.