Seriously, it is. Every weekend i sit on my ass in my apartment while the rest of the world is out having fun. Its not fucking fun. I just sit around and get fucked up till i pass out. Drugs and alcohol are pretty much my only friend at this point. but thats no way to go through life. Fuck i hate myself, my social inadiquacies, and my addictive personality. If I just had one person i could hang out with and talk with, then everything would be so much more bearable. but, alas, the universe seems to think it funny when I fail at everything. Its not fair; all those other people who have all kinds of friends. Fuck them and their popularity. It feels like everything is collapsing around me and i dont know how to escape it. It's times like this when I sorely wish that bastard hadnt "saved" me on my first attempt. Everything is pain. nothing will ever be fucking right!