It is so hard being lonely. How do you accept that you will always be lonely and never have someone to throw your arms around and go to sleep knowing someone loves you. I am not a kid and have been in an emotional nightmare my entire life. I have gone through therapy, taken medications and finally feel the end is near. My upcoming journey to Colorado and Utah is a time to find a quiet place of solitude to return my body back from where it came. My dreams torment me, daytime is a reality smack down. I wonder if others out there feel this way about being lonely. I used to think I had sanity. I swear that I am starting to lose it because I am making a plan. I am not spending $2000 to go on a solo trip to have fun but to look for a place to someday shoot myself.