Faith is a powerful force, sometimes even more powerful than facts. Putting emotions into words can be hard and I know what I need to do to rid myself of them and the powerful thoughts that seem to be forcing me into a downward spiral without any control. I have lost my footing and no longer have anything to hold onto. There is really no need anymore. The course I have chosen may seem difficult, but I know it is the sensible option. Others may not agree, but they will see in time. Just as I have had to endure sacrifices forced upon me, that I did not willingly take, speaking my mind has given me a lot of trouble. They are no longer reliable or trustworthy of their word, the facts will come to the surface sooner or later, and I should have never allowed them to convince me to share or explain my feelings. I have thought about it and there are still thing I cannot change to make life run more smoothly. My heart may not be in what I have to do, but if I stay focused and then make the effort, I will see it to the end. I am not going to use other commitments anymore as an excuse to avoid what I know what must be done.