So I tried to stay away from here for a while. Thought I could do this by myself. Didn't think it fair to ruin anyone else's lives or take up anyone else's time. Figured I should just man up and get a grip like everyone keeps telling me to. After all my life isn't so bad, everyone says I've had it easy. But the truth is, everyday is just getting harder, every hour brings more pain, and every now and then that little voice inside my head that tells me I'm worthless and that the world would be a much better place if I just wasn't in it, gets louder and so much harder to ignore. I know I'm not important, I know I'm not special and I know I'm a bad person who needs to be punished, but it does not make living with this pain and heartache any easier. So here I am, back again, looking for an outlet, looking for a reason to carry on. Looking for a friend.