Hi, I don't know what I'm doing here. I feel trapped in a place I don't want to be, with a person I don't want to be with and I feel like the only way out is to die. Every morning I wake up I have the desire to die and I can't get it off my mind. I am currently taking no measures to end my life. I don't know what to do about it. My girlfriend is pregnant. She cheated on me just after we first met and she has had a reputation for being a ***** in the past. I'm quite sure that it is my child she is pregnant with. I thought I loved her but she hurt me badly. I've moved to another country to be with her. We met in my hometown where she used to study and we visited each other. Now I'm living with her I feel trapped. I can't forgive her betrayal and I feel like there is no way out because now I have to prepare for the arrival of my child in the new year. I hate myself for not just leaving her when I found out she had cheated on me with a married man. I thought I could rise above her level and forgive her. But I just feel so pathetic when I give her attention. I really want to punish her. I sometimes think that maybe if I had a one night stand that it would feel as if we are even and maybe I'd be able to love her again and forgive her. I know that two wrongs don't make a right. I wouldn't want to do that. I'd rather she was not pregnant and just leave her now that I realise that I don't love her and that I can't forgive her. But she is pregnant with my child. I am jobless in a strange place where don't know anyone but her. I desperately want to get out of this situation, but the only way out is death.