Looking for advice on how to trust/talk to therapist


Well-Known Member
So this kind of came up in another thread, and I was asking for advice, but I thought it would be worth asking here.

It looks like I’m going to be starting therapy soon. To be honest, if it were up to me, I wouldn’t be. But since it’s happening anyway, I feel like I ought to at least try to get something out of it. I’m researching therapists right now, trying to put together a short list of people I think I might be able to work with.

Problem is that I’ve had negative experiences with therapy in the past, and have trouble trusting them now. My usual strategy when dealing with them has been to tell them as little as possible so as not to give them ammo to use against me. But I’d like to not do that this time. Or at least try not to.

So, for those who’ve had positive experiences, how do you get to the point where you feel comfortable with a therapist? How do you decide whether or not they can be trusted not to break confidentiality? If, like me, your natural instinct is to keep your private business private, then how do you get past that?

I feel like I’m in a catch-22. I can’t be open with them until I know that I can trust them, but I can’t trust them until I’ve been open with them and seen how they handle it.


Seeing is Believing
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SF Supporter
Look into what issues have you had in the past leading you into a therapy. Some Ts specializes in certain areas. Try to aim for the T that has more experience vs others. I have never trusted a T until few years ago when I just clicked with her after a friend recommended her and she happened to specialize in certain issues I was dealing with at the time.


Active Member
How honest should u be....I am recently seeing a psychologist and I have great anxiety as to how much I should share..should I sit should I pace..how much of yourself should u disclose


Well-Known Member
I'm here for answers too. Who wants to talk about the shitty parts of their life?? Not Me.
(Even if that probably is what I need the most) :/

Innocent Forever

Go as long as you can. And then take another step.
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SF Supporter
I'm not really sure that there are any easy answers. Trust takes time to build. My therapist told me - he actually was making a random comment, wasn't trying to tell me anything but hist words were 'throw me off, wittingly or unwittingly' or along those lines. It isn't easy to trust someone, and, you are in a catch 22 but it's not so black and white, for sharing the things that aren't private but that it means a lot how he/she reacts can be a starting point.
You're worth it....
Good luck

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