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Looking for help with suicidal thoughts

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by RomanBellic, May 4, 2008.

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  1. RomanBellic

    RomanBellic New Member

    While I don't remember each rule by heart I can understand that I can't be a nutter here. I'm looking for some real help so I'll be cool. I teach at a public school so I'm old enough to know that very few of these suicidal posts are unique so I won't pretend to be.

    I've had suicidal thoughts now and again since I was a kid but for the last two years they have been constant. I like to tell myself that I'm mature enough to handle things so I went to the doctor. Got plenty of meds and went to therapy too. Changed the meds up a few times but I ended up attempting still. This got me locked up for a long period. It was very unpleasant but I managed to get out eventually.

    I must confess here anonymously that I did lie to get out of it. I just couldn't stand being there anymore. I went back to my job and continued on. But the urge to exit remained for some reason. I really thought I had my feelings under control this time.

    I am certainly mature enough to know that I'm certainly not thinking straight so I'm at a point now where my mind is more clear and the side of me that wants to live is crying out to do just that. I want to get help that doesn't involve doctors or medication. I understand thats being very difficult but if anyone knows where I can find this, it has to be here.

    Thank you very much.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 4, 2008
  2. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Good luck finding help that doesnt involve therapy, medication, and hospital stays.. I have been searching for the same thing and am coming up empty handed. I had a short stay in a hospital and I will also admit that I lied to them to get out quickly. Those places are hell..If your not a lunatic when you go in there you will be when you come out! Anyways....Im also grown up enough to realise that my problem needs treatment..According to what I read and what Im told -medication is the only real treatment that has proven results..I dont want to go that road because the medications cause symptons that in my book are worse then my illness but I realise I need treatment to keep my life on track... I wish you good luck...
  3. RomanBellic

    RomanBellic New Member

    The meds actually had no positive effects on me. They did have the side effects too but I tried all families of anti-depressants and none of them worked even at the highest dosage.

    Thats very upsetting that there is no other help available.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 4, 2008
  4. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    I have been on medications for the better part of 9 years... I only found one that helped me (that was Geodon) but my body built up a tolerance twords it and even at max dose it would do no good (that was after about a year or so on it)..I was really upset about that too. I felt wonderful on that medication.. The last medication made me feel decent but I kept passing out and thats not something I could live with so I stopped it. I have been off the medications all together for probably two months now and symptoms are returning slow: Im hearing things again..Seeing things that arent there..Im getting paranoid again ( I dont notice it but my mom sure did and she pointed it out :(..) and my anger is starting to spike up twords certain people... I dont know what else I can do but try more medication.. Im around a lot if you want to chat btw...
  5. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    I suppose it's true that a percentage of the population doesn't respond to even one antidepressant. I was fortunate to find mine after trying four others. I've also been fortunate to have a good psychotherapist and psychiatrist.

    I hope your doctor tried a variety of combinations of meds, not putting trust in only one.

    Depression/Anxiety support group has been helpful to me, as has a PTSD group. I've not been in the service, but experienced trauma in a number of ways. I was a minister for 35 years - a very stressful profession - and retired at 55 because of suicidal ideation and depression. Along the way, the psychiatrist has added meds for related mental health issues. Cognitive therapy - two years now - has been helpful, as well as journaling, self-talk, and mindfulness exercises, along with prayer.

    No magic cure. Some people are certainly more responsive to therapy and meds than others. Those of us who aren't have to learn our own coping skills to stay safe and sane. I hope you'll find the help you need.
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    I use exercise (walk 2 hours a day; 1 hour on my lunch, 1 hour in the evening) as well as breathing and meditation exercises. I took a class with these people for the breathing and meditation.: http://us.artofliving.org/ (i linked to the US site, but if you are not in the states just google the name and you will find other sites).

    I also looked at some of the reasons for my depression and realized social isolation was a biggie, so every week i drag myself out to an event - the camera club, a poetry reading, a walk with friends to take photos. Even if I don't *feel* like going on the day, I still go and socialize.
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