Looking for Hope....

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by sp76, May 29, 2012.

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  1. sp76

    sp76 Member

    I think when most people look at me, they see a confident person who is in control of his life. On some aspects of that, this is true; I hold down a stable job, I take care of the physical needs of my family. Other than that, nothing holds true. I have been suffering from PTSD all my life, and as of late have tried all therapies out there and currently doing more therapy. I have been close to death's front door on many occassions, not more that I wish to die, but more that I wish to live without the pain that is over me. Yeah, I know probably does not make much sense. I just wish for one good night of sleep, wish just for one days with no flashback memories of my past traumatic history. I am a soldier/a fighter fighting a war within that never ends. I come here looking for solace/peace and nothing more.
     
  2. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    hi sp76 and welcome. got some stuff in common with you.. just leave it at that.. i live for my disabled soh most of the time.. understand way too well the flashbacks, the night terrors and all of htat.. i found the rite thereapist about 13 yrs ago. being with her taught me that most people are good people ... and not going to hurt me more.. the flashbacks and the terror is much better these days.. also the dissociations much better now.. say this to you that maybe you too will start to feel safe most times and able to leave yoru past in the past finally..

    it still comes back when you least want it but not as hurting then.. people tell me that forgiving the abusers is necessary.. can not do that but now just realize they were fucked up people and do not hate anymore... hope you find some relief and have some good restful deep untroubled sleep sojmetimes.. Jim
     
  3. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Welcome, You've arrived at a good place, A lot of people here understand your issues, and are eager to help.

    We're a world-wide group of people helping each other. You're important to us, you may be the one that has the right response for me when I feel like the pain is too much.

    We'll offer you emotional support and encouragement. Please keep posting, we'll be better to assist you.

    Once again, welcome
     
  4. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    welcome to SF. :)
     
  5. sp76

    sp76 Member

    Thanks everyone for the welcome.
     
  6. KayleighBellax

    KayleighBellax New Member

    Welcome, I hope we can be of some help.
    KB
    xox
     
  7. Alivefornow

    Alivefornow Member

    I know that we all have our own reasons for why we feel depressed or unworthy. Pain comes in all forms and PTSD is one of them. People around us seem to only see what we portray on the outside b/c we never really show the inside. As for me, I feel nothing. No emotions except sadness. Maybe if you let your family in a little more to how you FEEL you could find more support. I FEEL no one really cares. My grown daughters text me "have a good day, love you" and I know they do but they have no idea the sadness within me. The deep sadness that never goes away. The lonliness and isolation and the feeling of no reason to live. I do so hope you will let your family in and let them help you. Please don't give up for it seems from your post you have children at home and they NEED you. Take care and find the help you need, please!
     
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