Looking for some input.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by aznbirdflu, Dec 5, 2008.

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  1. aznbirdflu

    aznbirdflu Member

    I've been experiencing what is called 'suicidal ideation', I believe. I don't have any specific time-line to carry out a suicide attempt.

    When I bump into problems, I tend to create a mental list of possible solutions to what I'm facing. Recently suicide has been popping up on that list. I tended to get a little freaked out by that, push it away, and return to the problem at hand. More and more, suicide comes up in my mental lists, and I'm not as disturbed by its appearance anymore. It just seems to be a natural possible solution to any number of problems. I still look at it and say to myself, "That won't solve anything, this isn't big enough to kill yourself over, etc."

    Still, I wonder...

    I'd like some input on how dangerous this is. Do people that attempt suicide go through a process similar to this? Any other thoughts on the subject I would consider most welcome.

    Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for the input.
  2. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    lately i have been thinking suicide is the answer to all my problems.. whenever i cant face something, then i will think, well if that don't go as i wish then i will kill my self, and for a split second the idea makes me feel ok again..... is like a endless pattern

    are you seeking any help, for me it has only got worse.. so i would say go to your GP,

    take care


  3. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Hi there.I similarly have lists like yours and committing is always there as an option. It remains the final option but is something I have to confront each day. There are times when it appears to be the only option but there has always been someone here at the forum to show me that there is usually a better way. I find talking about it here to be the thing that helps the most. If the idea starts to become anything more than just an option get onto people here straight away. I once posted a thread that just had a bunch of question marks because I was really lost at the time and couldn't even think of what to say. The response was great and got me through it. It's good to be aware of these thoughts and most people don't actually act on them. The forum is here so that we can all help each other through the times when acting on such thoughts becomes more likely. Best wishes.S.:smile:
  4. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    If suicidal thoughts only come when you make a mental check list perhaps you would consider doing it in writing and focus on what you write. I find it definitly helping.

    Have you seek outside help to solve your problems? Either it is a therapist or a councellor? Often talking to someone helps a great deal in finding other options to our problems.

    Good luck
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    for me, it doesn't take long for me to go from suicide being one option, to it being the only option. so when it pops into my head i go for help right away. i've done it all... talked to my family doctor, called the shrink, gone to the emergency room. any of these might be right for you, it depends on your circumstances. talking to a pro can really help get those thoughts out of your head....
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Aznbirdlfu, welcome to the forums :hug:

    I experience the same feelings. The fact that you're not disturbed by these suicidal thoughts anymore may indicate that you are getting closer to attempting.You should really see a doctor :hug:
  7. mangopowerade

    mangopowerade Member

    I've been feeling this way a lot.

    Whenever life starts to get a little chaotic, or one of my deep shameful secrets gets let out (I'm a gay atheist in a decidedly ungay unatheist family), I always feel a little better knowing that suicide is always a possible out.

    I don't know how to make it go away, or even whether or not I want it to, so I'm probably no help to you, but I just wanted to let you know that I do feel that way sometimes, too.
  8. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    It's a great step that you're making this list, most people think nothing of it.

    It sounds like you really want to help yourself, if you can get the help you need with the problem it won't turn out to be so dangerous.

    Suicide is a very scary thing, and yes, dangerous..

    What you quoted posesses lots of truth, too.
  9. aznbirdflu

    aznbirdflu Member

    Thank you all, for the advice and support. The only thing I don't understand...

    What is a 'GP'?

    Thanks again.
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    GP=General Practitioner(basically a general doctor).
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    It is a good thing you still have positive thoughts to push those negative ones out of the way.Why don't you call the local hospital and ask for the phsyc ward. When you get them on the line explain what you are going thru and ask if they have any phone# for therapists in your area. Or group therapies.
    If your thoughts get to heavy write down a list of what they are and then go to the hospital and tell them you are suicidal and they should send a phsyc screener in to see you. You may have to be admitted to determin if you just need counseling or if you need meds to help take the edge off the thoughts.
    If they want to admit you then by all means listen to them they are the pro's. Don't be afraid it is nothing like you see in the movies. I reccomend taking a book to read because it is rather boring in there. If they want to put you on meds. "let me back up". They will want to take blood to see if you have any kind of chemical imbalance, then if they want to put you on meds don't be afraid of that either. I am on a regiment of meds to control different things. I take five different meds to help me fight off the negative thoughts.
    My honest opinion is you need to talk to a therapist, but more than likely they are going to want a phsyc evaluation to start the ball rolling in helping you to understand what is happening with you. Then they will teach you coping skills so you can keep those thoughts at bey!!Good Luck!~Joseph~
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