Looking for some support
- Thread starter alice202
- Start date
Something happened today. I have been under pressure at work because I am assigned to a work partner who hasn't been doing his share of the work, but is always trying to blame things on me. I complained about a manager in the spring and it was taken seriously, but I have been reluctant to do so again because in the past, at other jobs, they dealt with my complaints by getting rid of me.
I have spoken to the project managers about my work partner in the last week, and their response was to hold a group meeting which ultimately made everything worse. So today I reached out to the female manager who is above all of us. I gave her a lot of information about how my partner isn't doing his job. When I was done talking she told me that there have been discussions going on about him for 3 weeks, and that 4 different people have expressed concern about how he treats me. Two of them are the project managers, but I have no idea who the other two are, and I have only spoken to one person about it.
Anyway it wasn't a bad thing. She was ready to hear from me. I think they want to get rid of him but they need it to be documented that he is not doing his job. Had I known this I could have been keeping a running list of all his lapses. But of course they couldn't tell me.
I also told her about a coworker who is very condescending to me. She said she would talk to him about it, and I am sure that he will deny it.
I don't really know what is going to happen. I hope I didn't stir up shit that comes back on me.
Alice
I have spoken to the project managers about my work partner in the last week, and their response was to hold a group meeting which ultimately made everything worse. So today I reached out to the female manager who is above all of us. I gave her a lot of information about how my partner isn't doing his job. When I was done talking she told me that there have been discussions going on about him for 3 weeks, and that 4 different people have expressed concern about how he treats me. Two of them are the project managers, but I have no idea who the other two are, and I have only spoken to one person about it.
Anyway it wasn't a bad thing. She was ready to hear from me. I think they want to get rid of him but they need it to be documented that he is not doing his job. Had I known this I could have been keeping a running list of all his lapses. But of course they couldn't tell me.
I also told her about a coworker who is very condescending to me. She said she would talk to him about it, and I am sure that he will deny it.
I don't really know what is going to happen. I hope I didn't stir up shit that comes back on me.
Alice
Its the weekend and I am not looking forward to Monday. I talked to two people about the issues with my work partner last week, and nothing has changed. So I am not sure if its 'in the works' or they are just hoping I'll shut up.
On Friday my partner's wife (who is also in our workgroup) messaged me and told me I was doing certain things wrong. In the first place, I disagree. In the second place, I don't see how it is any of her business to examine my work and critique it. It actually infuriates me. I told her to stop doing it, because she wouldn't like it if I did the same to her. I think my partner is using his wife to "get to me" and I'm really frustrated. The thing is, my male manager seems to have a limited tolerance for listening to complaints. Apparently there are other people complaining about their partners too. But that really isn't fair.
I just dread going back to work tomorrow. It seems weird that you can get into such conflicts with people working remotely, but thats the way it is. I wish they would fire him. And I wish they would enforce the policy that family members can't work on the same team. It does not lead to anything good.
My head hurts and its not even Monday.
Alice
On Friday my partner's wife (who is also in our workgroup) messaged me and told me I was doing certain things wrong. In the first place, I disagree. In the second place, I don't see how it is any of her business to examine my work and critique it. It actually infuriates me. I told her to stop doing it, because she wouldn't like it if I did the same to her. I think my partner is using his wife to "get to me" and I'm really frustrated. The thing is, my male manager seems to have a limited tolerance for listening to complaints. Apparently there are other people complaining about their partners too. But that really isn't fair.
I just dread going back to work tomorrow. It seems weird that you can get into such conflicts with people working remotely, but thats the way it is. I wish they would fire him. And I wish they would enforce the policy that family members can't work on the same team. It does not lead to anything good.
My head hurts and its not even Monday.
Alice
Today we had a meeting with my manager and a new customer group. (Virtual meeting.) A couple of hours before we started, my manager asked if I could read the presentation. I said "yes, I always do" because although we are supposed to take turns, my partner weasels out of it every time. Then, while I was talking, he interrupted me at least 4 times to disagree with/correct what I was saying. This is a presentation that somebody else wrote and it isn't perfect but nobody really cares. Except my partner, who loves to make me look bad in front of other people. I didn't talk to him the rest of the day. No reason to. Tomorrow we have the same kind of meeting and I fully expect him to weasel out of the presentation again. If he does, I am going to confront my manager and ask him to shut down my partner from interrupting/correcting me. Its certainly unprofessional to do it in front of the customer and it makes me look bad.
The way he weasels out is by always having something wrong with his computer or phone. Sometimes there is feedback so everyone hears themselves a second time. Sometimes you talk to him and there is just complete silence for reasons I don't know. Sometimes the audio is so scratchy you can't hear him. And today, on the first call - there was "please dial one to reach the operator" repeated 50 times. We couldn't even hear or speak over it. And we are IT people! So he should be able to fix his damn computer or ask for help. But this has been going on for months.
But if its not that he will suddenly have an appointment, or his wife or his kid or his dog will have an appointment so he won't be able to connect with his computer. He'll still find a way to connect with his phone so he can criticize me.
I am completely and totally fed up. I've been led to believe they are going to reassign partners but nothing has happened yet. I'm really angry and just hoping I can hold it together without exploding at him.
Alice
The way he weasels out is by always having something wrong with his computer or phone. Sometimes there is feedback so everyone hears themselves a second time. Sometimes you talk to him and there is just complete silence for reasons I don't know. Sometimes the audio is so scratchy you can't hear him. And today, on the first call - there was "please dial one to reach the operator" repeated 50 times. We couldn't even hear or speak over it. And we are IT people! So he should be able to fix his damn computer or ask for help. But this has been going on for months.
But if its not that he will suddenly have an appointment, or his wife or his kid or his dog will have an appointment so he won't be able to connect with his computer. He'll still find a way to connect with his phone so he can criticize me.
I am completely and totally fed up. I've been led to believe they are going to reassign partners but nothing has happened yet. I'm really angry and just hoping I can hold it together without exploding at him.
Alice
You're handling this a lot better than me. Let me tell you that for free. I'd that happened to me, best case scenario is I'd have a stack of torn up phone books at home and worst case scenario, this jerk gets the last laugh bh me exploding in front of him. You're doing good and this sounds so frustrating. Lots of sympathy here, Alice
The hardest thing is to believe that the managers are doing something in the background after they listen to me. Nothing has changed yet. This morning we had a start up meeting, and when my manager asked who would be reading the presentation my partner said that I would be doing it. Again! I immediately started messaging the manager asking "why is it always my turn?" "did you notice that he interrupted me over and over in front of the customer?" and so on. And I also told him that my partner's wife was now interfering in my work.
When the meeting time came the manager said that my partner would be giving the presentation. I wish he had responded to tell me this sooner, but I'll take it. When the time came for my partner to present, there was dead silence for about 10-15 seconds. I have no idea what the problem was, but my manager asked me to take over and I did. Then, while I was giving the presentation my idiot partner was unable to give - he interrupted me twice. Towards the end of it he said something that I know to be untrue. We are supposed to give the customer the option to do certain aspects of the work themselves, and I said so. He jumped in and "corrected" me, saying this was a bad idea.
As soon as I got off the call I contacted one of the technical leads, and he assured me that my understanding was correct. So, tomorrow I am going to ask some higher ups how I should respond when the person I am working with gives wrong information. I am just completely fed up. I really want him to get fired, but I'd settle for getting a new partner and never having to speak to him again.
Alice
When the meeting time came the manager said that my partner would be giving the presentation. I wish he had responded to tell me this sooner, but I'll take it. When the time came for my partner to present, there was dead silence for about 10-15 seconds. I have no idea what the problem was, but my manager asked me to take over and I did. Then, while I was giving the presentation my idiot partner was unable to give - he interrupted me twice. Towards the end of it he said something that I know to be untrue. We are supposed to give the customer the option to do certain aspects of the work themselves, and I said so. He jumped in and "corrected" me, saying this was a bad idea.
As soon as I got off the call I contacted one of the technical leads, and he assured me that my understanding was correct. So, tomorrow I am going to ask some higher ups how I should respond when the person I am working with gives wrong information. I am just completely fed up. I really want him to get fired, but I'd settle for getting a new partner and never having to speak to him again.
Alice
Its only because this is a remote job that I can keep it together. So far I have managed not to swear, get nasty, or raise my voice. But little things are raising my ire. This morning I texted 2 managers: I need a new partner ASAP. Well they know I need a new partner. They have implied that they are working on it. But the more time that goes on, the more frustrated I become.
Thanks seabird. The thing that the female manager emphasized to me is that they need documented facts in order to do anything about his behavior. And that the emotional stuff doesn't help. It does help me to let it all out here, even though it seems like I have to explain a lot. So, they are getting an earful from me, but its different. And I know they want me to keep calm and carry on. I feel pretty good that I was able to just pick up immediately when my partner couldn't present today and gave no explanation. My manager sure doesn't want to look stupid in front of customers. But I'm ready to scream afterwards. Fortunately I'm at home, so I can be weird.
