I have had depression and anxiety disorder for 8 years. I don't really know why this all started, but it's seriously impairing my life. I haven't enjoyed the last 8 years, I've gone through the motions day by day when I could get out of bed, but I've had no fun, no enjoyment... I cannot cope with the prospect of living the rest of my life like this. I have attempted suicide twice before when in a more frantic state. These days I'm just in a completely flat state, always thinking I should kill myself but never doing it. I do see a doctor and I take sertraline all the time and diazepam when needed. I have been in counselling before and am trying to get to see a counsellor again, but I'm pretty sure it's a waste of time as I'm no better after all these years.