I'm new here. I don't know you or anyone here. But I understand how you feel because I feel the same. Keep trying to distract yourself? That's all I know how to do, anyway.
I'm scared to go to hospital. Really, scared of everything I guess.
It is true that nothing lasts forever and life is so fragile! Please, try to do whatever it takes to keep yourself alive.
You seem like a kind, good-hearted person and you must know that the world needs all the good people it can get right now.
I know it feels unbearable to live though each minute right now but there will come a moment, maybe even part of a day, where you will be happy that you're still alive.
If you leave now, you will never know what could have been and for those who know you (even I who don't), it would cause many hearts to break if you take your life away.
Please, hold on with us. Wishing I knew how to comfort you. Just very sorry that you feel like this.
Hoping you'll be back, that you are "OK". My heart goes out to you.