Looks

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by InnerStrength, Sep 23, 2009.

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  1. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    Obsessing over your looks seems banal, and yet I do it anyway. I've been told I'm attractive and have had women express unsolicited interest in me. I simply don't believe it. It seems like I won't be satisfied until I get drastic plastic surgery. I actually feel very suicidal b/c of my looks. Whether we think it or not, looks are (usually) a fundemental part of being accepted and wanted in American society. I just feel so down about this, anyone else feel this way?
     
  2. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    unfortunately looks are a major factor in whether a person is accepted i n society.But it isn't everything.I've seen people almost as ugly as me have friends while I am unable to make friends.I know its because I am ugly but people think I think I am "all that"...it is tough to be homely but not even get the benefit of the doubt that most homely people get with comforting words like "its what is inside that counts".No..I just get told I am ugly and I should stop thinking I am so special and pretty..talk about kicking a dead horse.
    Ah well..the people who will bring comfort to others are those who firmly believe it is what inside that counts.Some people just hate homely people and will hurt us anyways.Looks and money are what seem to matter the most to people.
     
  3. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    Wow, that sucks ashes_away, that those people said that to you!

    Bascically I don't know where I lie(sp?) on the attractiveness scale. Probably won't, either.
     
  4. Datura

    Datura Well-Known Member

    But according to your post, society is accepting of your looks. So evidently it's an internal issue.

    Society says a lot of things. It's your choice to be taken in by it or to go against the grain and be an authentic individual.
     
  5. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Yep, my looks are pretty much the focus for the majority of my depression right now. So I can totally relate. I sit there researching surgery like a crazy person and writing out over and over again, what I want done, how, prices, by who and where. I'm constantly grooming myself and I spend what little money I have on anything and everything that I think might make me look even remotely better. Now all I am hoping for is bulimia or anorexia so something can be done about my weight - this thing has taken over my life.
     
  6. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    i think the idea of looks making or breaking the decision to commit suicide ... well ... kinda selfish to yourself.

    yes i understand that society bases a persons worth on their looks. that is simply wrong.
    my own mother told me i was ugly, kids in school did the samething. yes it kinda smashed my self confidence. but as time went on, i simply dont care what ppl think of my looks. if thats all they base me on ... thats their problem.

    anyone that thinks that way about you, isnt even worth your time. todays society has millions of narrow, shallow minded ppl. im my opinion, i dont need anybody like that in my life. i also dont waste my time with the general public that behave that way.

    the choice is yours in this matter. we come to believe what everyone says, it tears us down and breaks us. dont let it.
    others cant control how you feel if you dont allow them to.

    for your info. i have seem many .... dont so good looking ppl that have plenty. they are married etc. which tells me this ... who am i to judge someone esle when i dont know them ,,,, hmmmmm ?

    i look but i dont judge. where i work, the majority of the customers are seriously obese, even kids. that would make some think ... they would be unattractive ..... wrong. theres more to someone than whats on the outside.
    its just to bad that ppl dont understand that.

    just my thoughts.

    odie
     
  7. Multiple Man

    Multiple Man Well-Known Member

    Being ugly is undoubtedly a curse in this world. It makes heart and character obsolete. It is a disadvantage but a person should maximize their own personal traits that they have that even some beautiful people dont. The beautiful and average looking people dont own this world. It was made for all of us. The deemed "ugly" or unattactive deserve love, friends, and to live feeling confident and comfortable in their own skin as well. Being unattractive just allows a person to be more substanitive and have depth and not depend solely on superficial means. Once you get older and looks because less relevent, you'll be better off and know more about yourself and abilities because your more than something only skin deep.
     
  8. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    Yeah, but I'm kinda wondering if they were being sarcastic, etc. I honestly have a hard time discerning truth from social interactions.
     
  9. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    yeah. all the time. i've been told so many times that i'm beautiful. but family says that kind of stuff. it's what they do. and then friends say it but its like when you look in the mirror you don't see anything good looking except all these flaws. i don't want plastic surgery, but i wish i had a new face. and body.
     
  10. 12years

    12years Well-Known Member

    This.

    I don't care about my looks, to be honest. Someone who decides to like me only and only when I look attractive probably isn't someone I want to be around anyway.
     
  11. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member


    That is certainly a more healthy way to look at things, and probably true.

    But, a lot of the people I talk to seem to genuinely scratch their heads about my appearance concerns. As if there is nothing wrong me. I find that weird. And interestingly enough, BDD has a high rate for suicide.
     
  12. sad panda

    sad panda Well-Known Member

    I think believe it or not EVERYONE, except maybe a select few, care and even obsess over the way they look. The world/media today has everyone constantly trying to obtain and unobtainable appearance. It's just sad honestly.

    Everyone is unique and different, if someone doesn't accept you for who you are then it's obvious who really has problems.. (hint) not you. :smile:
     
  13. sammakko

    sammakko Banned Member

    I am queen of puke girls
    year after years
    :bottom:
    just because i am ugly.

    Like i want to be :lol!:
     
  14. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member


    Thanks, sad panda. I'm not really sure if my social blunders happen because of my looks or not. As I said before, in the past, I have been hit on/flirted with (they either would outright say I was attractive, cute, hot, whatever, or just generally flirt). I just always end up seeing that as a mockery. Pretty stupid, yeah? Ah well, no use mulling it all over.
     
  15. ZombieNation

    ZombieNation Active Member

    I'm ugly :( I'm 14 stone but my 6foot2 height hides it. I'm not round round but I have a slight stomach thing, My shoulders are quite build along ith my arms and legs, my body just isnt right.

    I think looks can effect anything you do.
     
  16. Zaparc©

    Zaparc© Active Member

    I feel pretty much the same way. I constantly study myself in the mirror, looking for imperfections. Like you, I too am told "you're attractive" or, "There's nothing wrong with the way you look. You're a good-looking man." But, there's also other instances when people have deemed me to be unattractive in some way, and those instances seem to stick out in my mind, more so than the positive ones. That's why I consider myself to be unattractive.

    Like many things, someone (or anything) being attractive is in the eyes of the beholder, and everyone has their own opinion. I, personally, like larger women just as much as I do women of average builds.
     
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