Loosing touch

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Borrowed time*, Nov 1, 2010.

  1. Borrowed time*

    Borrowed time* Well-Known Member

    Ok not quite a rant just an observation about something my brother told me last night.
    Im sure I'm not the only one but I practically live in my room. I have created a home within a home. I only leave it when it is absolutely necessary.
    I hate living at home but when I'm away I just want to go home to my bedroom.
    My weekends consist of sleeping until around midday, getting dressed around 4pm, running to the shop for essentials then retreating back home. I don't even have food over the weekend so I can avoid the kitchen. The whole time I'm out I'm on guard and nervous, I only relax once my door is shut and iv put the lock on.
    I don't know when it happened or how but I'm nearly house bound. Sitting at work today I told my boss I want to go home. Yes I'm worried for my brother but it's more than that, I want to feel safe.
    If it wasn't for my pets I wouldn't work, I wouldn't have to get out of bed, I could start shopping for the few bits I need on the Internet.
    Iv become disconnected. I didn't realise there had been a suicide on my road until 3 weeks after the event and I knew him. I didn't know my mums partners dad had died until a week later, and as silly as it sounds I dont even know when our local shop got refurbished, I thought I'd walked into the wrong shop.
    The thing is I don't know how to change this, I don't even know if I want to change it. I do know that I have to at least try to change before it gets any worse.
     
  2. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    It sounds like you may have some horrible anxiety issues. You really should talk to a Doctor and then maybe a therapist, they can help you get past this and there's medication to lower anxiety so these issues, if anxiety issues, should go away.

    My PM box is always open :hug:
     
  3. Borrowed time*

    Borrowed time* Well-Known Member

    Thanks confusticated
    Im going to be homeless by Christmas so im sure that will pretty much cure me more than anything a doctor can do.
     
  4. Born Dead

    Born Dead Member

    Just like to say that I get where you're coming from. I spent 2 years almost completely housebound, only leaving for appointments. I slept all day so I didn't have to think about life on the outside and at night, it was just me and the computer.

    This only leads to more withdrawal though, as you probably already know. All I can suggest is trying to get out for short amounts of time everyday, even if it's just walking to the end of the driveway to get the mail and back, or sitting outside (if it's warm). Maybe try going for drives to the park and just sitting in your car, looking at the scenery. It just helps to know that there is a world out there - logically you know it, but when you isolate yourself it feels like it's just you behind a brick wall. At least, it did in my case.