Ok not quite a rant just an observation about something my brother told me last night. Im sure I'm not the only one but I practically live in my room. I have created a home within a home. I only leave it when it is absolutely necessary. I hate living at home but when I'm away I just want to go home to my bedroom. My weekends consist of sleeping until around midday, getting dressed around 4pm, running to the shop for essentials then retreating back home. I don't even have food over the weekend so I can avoid the kitchen. The whole time I'm out I'm on guard and nervous, I only relax once my door is shut and iv put the lock on. I don't know when it happened or how but I'm nearly house bound. Sitting at work today I told my boss I want to go home. Yes I'm worried for my brother but it's more than that, I want to feel safe. If it wasn't for my pets I wouldn't work, I wouldn't have to get out of bed, I could start shopping for the few bits I need on the Internet. Iv become disconnected. I didn't realise there had been a suicide on my road until 3 weeks after the event and I knew him. I didn't know my mums partners dad had died until a week later, and as silly as it sounds I dont even know when our local shop got refurbished, I thought I'd walked into the wrong shop. The thing is I don't know how to change this, I don't even know if I want to change it. I do know that I have to at least try to change before it gets any worse.