I hate myself. And I'm scared. And I hate life. And I deserve all of it. Sometimes I want to keep trying. And sometimes I just want to die. Sometimes it changes by the minute. Is this the human condition, and then you die - either way? I am so goddamn awful. I don't feel human. I'm a joke. But maybe it's like this for everyone. It's so hard to get through the day. But life is hard. I don't know what else to say.