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Loser.

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#1
Ugh, I can't fit in ANYWHERE. In real life, online, anywhere. What's the point of even trying anymore? No one accepts me for the person I am, no one wants to know me and I don't blame them, I don't want to know me either.

Very few friends in real life... never see them anymore. They've moved on etc etc I try and make friends with people, but end up looking like a complete idiot because I stutter and stumble my words when I'm nervous - which I always am. Most often, I don't talk at all because people ALWAYS judge me. They judge me on my appearance, the factt hat I am quiet. Feels like I have a tattoo going straight across my forehead saying LOSER. I feel like one.

As some of you know, I've been going to the first aid course. I wasn't "bad friends" with anyone, didn't talk to half of them, because they kept giving me weird looks, and they were all in this "gang" from the same school... probably nice people, but, I don't like approaching groups... I was talking mainly to this one girl and this other guy and we got along ok, it was freak... it doesn't happen. Why was she being nice to me, why were we getting on? Now, training has finished, I wouldn't be surprised if I never heard from her again.

Online, it just doesn't happen. Yeah, sure, I talk to people, but I don't think anyone truly cares about me. I don't think anyone truly enjoys talking to me. I'm on MSN most days, and very few people talk to me. And if we do talk, it's just "Hi, how are you". And, that's it. Try to make conversation, for what? Nothing. It just goes nowhere. It feels like people online know I'm a loser. What's the point? I don't see a point in bothering anymore. No one is going to like and accept me. I should just give up.
 
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Zueri

Well-Known Member
#2
Hi Res! :hug:

One question: Why do you desire to fit in when you can stand out? Be unique! Don't be afraid of who you are.
You're a great person, don't doubt that for a second. It's just human nature to be judgemental. We all are.
If you want to chat, drop me a PM or IM on MSN...If I'm at my computer, I'll chat with you! :)
 
L

letdown

#5
You sound a lot like me. I have now given up. Do you find that when you're very depressed the desire to have friends is more intense, and when you're not, it isn't too painful and you prefer your own company? I don't know. I do know how painful it is, in real life, to be in a group situation where you are given funny looks. I don't like approaching groups either. I end up watching everything rather than participating and I'm scared of participating and of being "swallowed" by some group/person.

What my counsellor once said that friendships/relationships is a two way thing. That it doesn't lie all with you that you are a "loser" (as it often feels that way)- that other people have their reasons to not approach you and that could vary from being frightened, to not being bothered, to going through things themselves. I think in my case, it's the case of being "frightened." I'd like to offer my support through MSN but in all honesty, I'm too frightened to talk to anyone at the moment because of bad experiences with people. But I do want to know that you are heard and that I go through painfully similar things when it comes to people and relationships.

Best wishes. :hug:
 
#6
Thanks for your replies. Being unique is one thing, being an outcast and a freak is another. I don't want to get in with the "popular crowds", heck no. That's the last thing I want, I just want to be liked and appreciated and cared for and it doesn't happen, no matter how hard I try. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not and I have no intentions to, even if I did, I'm sure that would backfire.

Yep friendship is a two way thing. I don't think people are afraid or frightened to approach or be friends with me, most probably because they cannot be bothered and I'm frightened/nervous to approach because I've been crapped on too many times.

Thanks again for your replies. :hug:
 
L

letdown

#7
I don't know, some people are afraid. It's hard to understand sometimes but especially if you have communication difficulties, (stutter when nervous, are quiet) they may feel out of their depth and would rather stick with people who don't spark off insecurities within themselves. I know one of my main problems is asking too many questions :) Some like that, some just don't want to know.

It is sad that people don't want to get to the 'real you' though when everyone's putting on a front, left, right and center. :hug: When I talk to you I do think you have a lot to offer.

Take care.
 
#10
Ugh, I can't fit in ANYWHERE. In real life, online, anywhere. What's the point of even trying anymore? No one accepts me for the person I am, no one wants to know me and I don't blame them, I don't want to know me either.
Um, you just took thoughts out of my head. That's scary. And...I admire you to the point of being a tad scared/intimidated of you because of your popularity on sf :unsure: Goes to show you never really know what people are thinking... :hug:

I definitely don't think you're a loser, and if you ever want a friend, :flowers: :smile:

Ps. can't believe I just admitted being scared of someone online. Now who's the loser? :laugh:
 
#11
I'm not popular at all, and don't feel threatened or intimidated, there really is no reason to feel that way. :hug: And you're not a loser. Thanks for the offer of the friendship, that would be great. I will take you up on that offer! Thanks for all your nice words everyone. :hug:
 
#12
Being unique is one thing, being an outcast and a freak is another...That's the last thing I want, I just want to be liked and appreciated and cared for and it doesn't happen, no matter how hard I try. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not and I have no intentions to, even if I did, I'm sure that would backfire.
Hi resistance,
I too am an outcast. As with you, I don't care much to get involved with the 'in' crowd. I also can't pretend to be someone I'm not. By the way, you are not a loser. You are different. I would recommend finding people like you. As far as human beings are concerned, yes they will hurt you on occasion, but that is no reason to lock yourself up in a room and throw away the key. I would recommend working on your articulation skills until it feels automatic. Then you should be able to walk up to people (you find interesting) and start up a conversation. If you want to talk, send me a PM. I believe I could set up MSN messenger (Is that what you are talking about?).

Take Care,
Supreme Loser
 

TheBLA

The biggest loser ever to live.
#13
Man, if anyone here is a really big loser, its me, trust me, guess that isn't gonna make anyone feel better though of course, but if you could analyse my life carefully, you'd see I'm the far bigger loser.

Well, I just know that I can also sympathize with you guys.
 
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