Ugh, I can't fit in ANYWHERE. In real life, online, anywhere. What's the point of even trying anymore? No one accepts me for the person I am, no one wants to know me and I don't blame them, I don't want to know me either.
Very few friends in real life... never see them anymore. They've moved on etc etc I try and make friends with people, but end up looking like a complete idiot because I stutter and stumble my words when I'm nervous - which I always am. Most often, I don't talk at all because people ALWAYS judge me. They judge me on my appearance, the factt hat I am quiet. Feels like I have a tattoo going straight across my forehead saying LOSER. I feel like one.
As some of you know, I've been going to the first aid course. I wasn't "bad friends" with anyone, didn't talk to half of them, because they kept giving me weird looks, and they were all in this "gang" from the same school... probably nice people, but, I don't like approaching groups... I was talking mainly to this one girl and this other guy and we got along ok, it was freak... it doesn't happen. Why was she being nice to me, why were we getting on? Now, training has finished, I wouldn't be surprised if I never heard from her again.
Online, it just doesn't happen. Yeah, sure, I talk to people, but I don't think anyone truly cares about me. I don't think anyone truly enjoys talking to me. I'm on MSN most days, and very few people talk to me. And if we do talk, it's just "Hi, how are you". And, that's it. Try to make conversation, for what? Nothing. It just goes nowhere. It feels like people online know I'm a loser. What's the point? I don't see a point in bothering anymore. No one is going to like and accept me. I should just give up.
Very few friends in real life... never see them anymore. They've moved on etc etc I try and make friends with people, but end up looking like a complete idiot because I stutter and stumble my words when I'm nervous - which I always am. Most often, I don't talk at all because people ALWAYS judge me. They judge me on my appearance, the factt hat I am quiet. Feels like I have a tattoo going straight across my forehead saying LOSER. I feel like one.
As some of you know, I've been going to the first aid course. I wasn't "bad friends" with anyone, didn't talk to half of them, because they kept giving me weird looks, and they were all in this "gang" from the same school... probably nice people, but, I don't like approaching groups... I was talking mainly to this one girl and this other guy and we got along ok, it was freak... it doesn't happen. Why was she being nice to me, why were we getting on? Now, training has finished, I wouldn't be surprised if I never heard from her again.
Online, it just doesn't happen. Yeah, sure, I talk to people, but I don't think anyone truly cares about me. I don't think anyone truly enjoys talking to me. I'm on MSN most days, and very few people talk to me. And if we do talk, it's just "Hi, how are you". And, that's it. Try to make conversation, for what? Nothing. It just goes nowhere. It feels like people online know I'm a loser. What's the point? I don't see a point in bothering anymore. No one is going to like and accept me. I should just give up.
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