Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by IDKwhatIwant, Oct 4, 2009.

  1. IDKwhatIwant

    IDKwhatIwant Well-Known Member

    i dont have any friends. people actually bother me a lot. they smell, theyre deceitful, theyre nasty. i just cant imagine be around people, unless i have a reason to.

    i like being online. but, i dont really have any friends online either. i had one that we talked long distance, but i called to much. hurt my own feelings. now i dont want to call, and she isnt calling me. i figure its over.

    ive looked online for people. rejected from dating sites. i still login maybe once a week or two. no more then a few minutes and im to depressed to continue. most of them are ugly, or have made trashy decisions. both of which i want to avoid. the ones i did like, of the few, didnt like me. generally reminds me that ill be alone, possibly forever, because my issues.

    ive tried network sites like this one. i post a generic description or opinion. someone replies with a generic description or opinion. thats about it. ill try and talk on the forums. normally about stupid stuff like dating, karate, or music. stuff i really care nothing about, but i just like being included.

    psychology books tell me, relationships, employment, and possessions, will make me happy. these are the things others use to make them feel worthy, and raise their self esteem. im poor, slave to a low paying dead in job, with no relationship or experience. i figure theyre right... but... i dont really value these things. use to bother me a little bit. now it bothers me a lot. im still deciding if its because i dont have them, or because i dont want them.

    im just depressed. i wanted to call her... but im not going to. i dont think she really wants to talk. shes just being nice. i spend $60.00 for internet and phone, i talk to one person on the phone, and several strangers online. im just sick of life. if i cancel the phone and internet, ill just sleep longer. otherwise, ill waste hours being miserable. writing generic descriptions, for a generic response.

  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I think we all have our generic responses. I know I do. They are very helpful when I don't know what to say but I want to say something.

    In my depression, it is hard to respond, my brain just won't work.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hope you continue to come here to talk lots of people care here
  4. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    I second Violet. What's good about this forum is you can say what you really think and feel, you don't have to be on your 'best behaviour' like you do in other places, so the connecting with people is more genuine.

    Maybe you could say a bit more about yourself - generic or otherwise?