Losing all Control

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sp76, Jun 13, 2012.

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  1. sp76

    sp76 Member

    I have lost my desire to do anything really. It used to be I was suicidal, but at least I could still do what needed to be done around life. Today I sat and did nothing, had no desire to do a thing. Today was supposed to be the day and then I could not find the key to my lock to get out my gun...I want to accomplish one thing right. Yeah I could have tried another method, but what if that does not work. Morbid, I know. When I had the plan in mind, I finally felt some kind of peace. Why is that? Now that the deed is not done I am back to my depressive self. My therapist today told me I need to talk with my medical doctor and ask for some kind of medications, maybe so, but don't have the will power to do that, because they might think I need locked up somewhere and that for sure will not make things better. I just got to find that key.:concern:
     
  2. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    Have you told your therapist about those worries?
     
  3. sp76

    sp76 Member

    Yes. She says just tell them I am depressed and share nothing else, but I can just imagine them asking if I am suicidal, so then do I lie?
     
  4. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    I personally think that's bad advice on her part. I'd advocate telling the whole truth - because only by that happening can we hope to heal.
     
  5. Christina.

    Christina. Member

    I'm sorry. /: I don't think finding the key would be the answer to everything, yet I'm being a hypocrite because I'd rage if I was you and couldn't find it.. Anyways, I agree with Limbo. If you lie when the councler asks you if you're suicidal, you won't get anywhere. You need to tell them the truth and if you don't do that, they can't give you the proper help you need. I'm sorry you feel like this, I wish there was something more I could do. :( I hope you get better soon. <3
     
  6. sp76

    sp76 Member

    It seems that whenever life gets a little worse, than eventually it gets even more worse. Today I wake up and all my old physical wounds have been hurting all day. My messed up knee hurts, my shoulder hurts too the point that I cannot rotate it right, and my wrist with the metal in it is killing me. I try to look at other sides, too not wish to take my own life and then something else occurs, that makes me have even a stronger desire to end it all.
     
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