Losing everything

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by total eclipse, Sep 22, 2009.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i feel like i have no connection now I know i have caused this i just don't want any emotion as at least i can function that way. I want closure some kind of ending to all this I want them all well my daughter and twin and brothers and mother. I know now it just is not going to be and i do not have the energy anymore. Maybe if i were not so confused and in pain maybe i could help them and they would listen but they won't and i just to point where i don care. Who the hell cares about a nothing a noone who cares who noone did noone tried noone god nonoe ihate me and always will hate me i have accomplished nothing as i am a nothing again. after all i fought through i have nothing how can this be happening again how everything is gone and i don't want to stay and watch it all unfold all over again mary is too tired to try anymore. she is very very tired and very very sad. dam it.
     
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    No one listened to me. My children got hurt as adults. I felt the deep, paralyzing, mother's fear. I thought it was going to kill me.

    Now that my kids have gone through the pain life dealt them, they listen to me a little more. They still have mom when everyone else left them.

    I now recognize this is a process.

    Many times, I feel like a nothing. Today, I feel like a nothing. I know if I dwell on it, it will get worse. So I try to get out of my head by doing something.

    Just for today, I'm hanging out, I have God with me, and I have some crochet to do.

    Sometimes, I do some "self parenting." I tell myself it's ok, I'm here. I even hug myself at times.
     
  3. Aimee_in_Wonderland

    Aimee_in_Wonderland Well-Known Member

    i know how you feel, no-one ever wants to listen mostly too afraid of what your going to tell them :(
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thanks i hope tommorrow when i have them all home with me I hope and pray there will be no more drama so much to do. then have to work i am just tired thinking abt it yet it has to all get done god give me strength. I am grateful for bothof your responses take care okay guys take care of you in all this crazyness.
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I don't like this response not nice at all what is your problem I think you have issues You don't have to be rude or unkind Chargette was responding to my post to help me Your post does nothing but cause pain.
     
  6. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    Just ignore them

    People who post things as callous as that have serious issues themselves. :ban:

    Here's a song for you Violet and Chagrette:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdPUO3i-IWM

    Small mercies - Innocent

    :kris: Keep sailing :angel: Keep shining :nice: (and post)
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thank you for the song and for your post
     
  8. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    :)

    You're welcome ^__^
     
  9. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    How are you doing Violet? *hug* Glad to know you are still fighting.
     
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i have to for her but i am so very tired thanks for caring
     
  11. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    I'm proud of you Violet
     
  12. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    I feel the same way, more often than not, and hide it behind so many forms of distraction. I'm sorry there are so many other people, like you, Violet, and others here, who also feel the same, for the exact same reasons. Its horrible. None of us deserve this. We didn't ask for it. It makes me hate people (who hurt others) more. :hug:
     
  13. HiddenTears

    HiddenTears Well-Known Member

    I am right there with you violet. I hope today will bring you some form of happiness, even if it is only that the other day has ended. That's how I choose to look at things now. If you can't find happiness be happy that yesterday has ended. Everyday is hard, I understand that but hopefully tomorrow will be different. I don't know how I can help you other than saying you are not "a nothing." We love you here, and you always say something nice to me in all of my threads, so I appreciate you. I don't even know you, but I know that you are not a nobody. Nobodies are the people who choose to look over you when you are hurting, and I know that is not you.
     
  14. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thanks Brighid Moon and Hidden Tears DivEthermission for your post. I take each day as it comes and just pray for more days that are not so sad. You are all so caring here you don't know how much i appreciate this place, A safe place I am not afraid of getting thrown away here Thanks for all your kind comments. Today is a busy one taking care of mom and brothers and sister and i have my daughter now ah i am kept so busy i don't have time really for the pain just ffffffffff tired thats all but im okay with tired. Take care okay stay strong.
     
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