i feel like i have no connection now I know i have caused this i just don't want any emotion as at least i can function that way. I want closure some kind of ending to all this I want them all well my daughter and twin and brothers and mother. I know now it just is not going to be and i do not have the energy anymore. Maybe if i were not so confused and in pain maybe i could help them and they would listen but they won't and i just to point where i don care. Who the hell cares about a nothing a noone who cares who noone did noone tried noone god nonoe ihate me and always will hate me i have accomplished nothing as i am a nothing again. after all i fought through i have nothing how can this be happening again how everything is gone and i don't want to stay and watch it all unfold all over again mary is too tired to try anymore. she is very very tired and very very sad. dam it.