losing hope, and that's what scares me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sigh__, Mar 20, 2008.

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  1. sigh__

    sigh__ Member

    i've felt pretty awful for a while, but the one thing that always kept me alive was that i had hope for a better future. no matter how bad or shitty things were, the hope was there. i took a lot of comfort in it, because i knew it would get better and i couldn't wait. i knew that one day all the suffering would be worth it, and i'd be happy.

    but now i feel the hope is going away, and i'm terrified. i've never felt this way before. i don't feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel anymore. i am losing grasp of my hopes and dreams. i'm losing the hope that they're achievable anymore.

    i've flirted with suicide a lot, but i really, really want to just die now. i don't think there is a point anymore. it's just a lot of suffering for no purpose. if there is a such thing as a lost cause, it is me. i don't believe there is any way out anymore. it's just all blackness. i have far too many issues and problems.

    i'm really, really scared. i need help but there is none. i really feel like i'm at the end of my rope.
     
  2. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Hey sigh, welcome to the site. I'm not sure what's going on but whatever your dilemma you will find a lot of caring people here to support you, should you want that. Try not to lose hope just yet, it's never over until it's over.
     
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

  4. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    I was living with that tiny piece of hope many years. And I finally lost it. I dont hope anymore. Im just waiting the day when I will take things in my hands. I have decide that there is no way out for me, exept ending my life. But, when I was hoping that things will be better, I was thinking that if I lose this hope, things will be better, because I will fell happy and free. But Its not completely true. I have lost my hope, but I am still scared, afraid, I still think what will be if I do this, if I do that, what should others think. Sometimes I think, I can do what I want now, because I live my last days (or weeks, months, I dont know) and no mather what I will do, it will be all over soon, without consequences. But I see its not true. So try not to lose your last hope until your last day.
     
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