losing hope

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by just wants answers, Mar 14, 2016.

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  1. I have lived through 55 years of abuse from childhood until a recent breakup. I am so depressed. I am on a new med for 3 weeks, in 6 groups a week, see 1 therapist individual with one therapist 1 time a month, a second therapist once a week and will start seeing a third therapist a couple times a week. Plus I am a church member. I am no better. I have no job but trying for disability. I have plenty of people who love and support me and I love them but it doesn't change the mess in my mind. I don't want to die really but I am sick of living this way. I don't sleep, my house looks like it threw up its contents, I am a mixed media artist but haven't touched my art since before Christmas. Don't know what to do
  2. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    Hello there, I'm so sorry for the way you feel, it does get discouraging especially as you're doing so many positive things to get well. I wish I had some answers for you, but I'm new to this forum myself, not new to depression that I can relate too and the dark feelings it brings. I can relate to the house condition, I have severe back pain and find it hard to keep up with housework, also finding motivation is hard when you're depressed.
    Anyway, I'm glad you found this forum, there are lots of good people here who will encourage and help you. Hopefully they can offer you some advice on your situation, I just wanted to say hello and let you know that you were not alone.
    Sending a prayer
  3. Williamstuckinarut

    Williamstuckinarut SF Supporter

    Hi and welcome to SF. I'm also depressed and live among clutter :)
    This is something I really need to work on that would improve my quality of life. My excuses are that I'm on my own so I'm not harming other people and that because I have more serious issues I can leave all that for "later" which means never.
    Let's try something new: for a week I'll make myself do a little cleaning every day. Would you like to join me in this experiment?
  4. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum!
    Firstly I am happy to hear how much help you are getting! Keep that up! Some things take while to get through, especially things like what you've been through. But it can be helped. It takes time, but you'll get there.

    Is there anyone who can help you clean your house up? My flat is not the cleanliest (thanks to almost no space as well as chronic pain and depression...) but I always find I feel a little better after I clean it a bit. I know it can seem like an impossible task... so perhaps let someone help you?
    If not, like William said, start with little things, one thing per day... you can even make a check list of very easy jobs. I have to do that myself sometimes.

    Keep fighting! And be kind to yourself.

    Also, don't force the art. It will come when it does. I have long periods where I can't write or paint and I find getting frustrated only makes it harder to get inspired.

    Who knows... once you get the clutter out of the way maybe you will get inspired.
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  5. I can try. Thank you
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  6. My daughter might be able to help me Sunday
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  7. Thank you for the replies and encouragement the depression or rather the disfunctional depression started in January when the guy I thought was trying to rebuild our relationship had a girlfriend. I have since discovered I had been sexually abused by my older brother when I was 3. I think I have a long way to go to work through my years of abuse.
  8. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Hey, you sound hopeful that something can change. That is important. You're trying... Which is more than I can say. The house can be organised eventually. It's embarrassing... But, it can be changed. Mine is similar... I haven't washed up in over two weeks.

    Hopefully these people can give you something. It's important.

    Sadly I have to say what I hate others saying to me... It takes time. It really does. Don't expect to be ok soon. But know that it'll get better if you keep trying.
    sahel and just wants answers like this.
  9. Some days I am hopeful and some not, but I am trying
    sahel likes this.
  10. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Yes I can understand that. I'm the same. You sound like you are on the right path though
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