Well, where to start... I'm pretty useless, yea that pretty much sums it up. I have a college degree in biology and ended up as a cook. Now I'm struggling to make enough money to support my wife and start up a family. We live in an apartment, have a cat, a few planted fish tanks and I've been neglecting fish cleaning for nearly a year, tried to get back into it in the last few weeks. Anyways, I've got to start paying off a student loan next month that will really stretch our resources, and I can't find a second job. I'm angry at myself because I got into a relationship that I knew I would fail, to everyone else, I'm a decent person, but to me I know what I'm capable of, and its not much. I can't lead well, so I'll never move up and make more money and I have too much stress at home with money issues, I love being at work though... strange, normally the opposite way around! Tonight has been very rough, I'm pounding beers while my wife is gone for a few hours because I'll be able to explain my feelings better a little buzzed, and I thought it would help me sleep and get over this feeling for the night. I know I'm being absurd, but I don't want to off myself because of the pain I'll cause others. I want to make my financial state better, but I'm good at any job I do, just not great...ya know? I really need a stress reliever, any suggestions???? My wife knows about my previous problems with depression... had a plan in high school to commit suicide, but my friends got a hold of the counselor and I was put on anti-depressants. I'll never go back on them, although it helped, I never felt "alive" I never got really happy, and never got low, so you know that your still alive, and I hated that. Also, because I'm a biology major, I know that prescription drugs, especially anti-depressants ahave ill-effects on aquatic creatures that are still for the most part unknown. Sorry, this has been a lot to absorb, but mainly, I need a stress reliever, free if possible!