losing it..need to let it out

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by WarpedNTwisted, Oct 1, 2011.

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  1. I feel like if I cut enough the pain will really go away, as if I could cut out all the bad inside of me. I'm such a loser, am I a horrible person for wanting the pain to end and for wanting to kill myself?
  2. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    What's happened to set you getting to this state?
  3. a mix of childhood sexual abuse followed by being raped throughout my teen years, I just can't do it anymore, I cant trust anyone, maybe not even myself..
  4. SilentScream

    SilentScream Well-Known Member

    You always have to trust yourself; sometimes there indeed can be times that you loose faith and trust in yoruself..

    but you are never right or wrong, never good or bad, you are you.
    And your histroy doesn't make you a horrible person, it doesn't make you a bad person.
    it again makes you, you.
  5. but what if in the end my heart truly tells me that suicide and cutting are the only things that can really save me..
  6. SilentScream

    SilentScream Well-Known Member

    If your heart is telling you; that suicide and cutting in your only saviour you really should try to avoid your heart's feelings; and try to find another savior with your mind.

    This link might help: http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?t=37562

    And you can always contact me or any other member on this forum if you need someone to talk to, or someone to help.. because deep inside everyone can be your savior, just accept and allow them to be one!

    Stay strong!

    (( I'm almost always on MSN so feel free to add: meep@live.nl ))
  7. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    There's no magic cure for the hurt you feel,but you can begin the healing process by talking to the right person. Counselling could be a big help and it won't be easy but you've been thru so much hurt and upset to get to this point. Maybe you could dig deep and find reserves of strength that you didn't even know you had,counselling will be upsetting but it won't hurt you anymore.
    My thoughts go out to you x
  8. I have to die. I'm sorry guys. I wish I were strong like all of you. I just can't keep holding on when there's nothing for me to hold on too..
  9. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    Hey I'm not strong,I feel like im hanging on by my fingernails alot of the time too. You just have to get through one day at a time and see what tomorrow brings.Is there no one you can speak to,please don't give up there are good things,good people out there.
    Keep on posting,people do care about you x
  10. SilentScream

    SilentScream Well-Known Member

    Please hang on!
    Together we are strong, everyone has got his/her's weak moments.. but deep inside everybody is strong.

    I'm here for you if you need me!

    I'll pray for you.

    Please stay alive~
  11. no prayers please..i'm not worth anyone's time. I just can't stay alive anymore, not when every day i'm eaten alive by terrible things..
  12. I'm really sorry guys. I wish I didn't have to hurt any of you
  13. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    People won't stop caring you know,you can't face this on your own. Have you asked for help?
  14. yes..way beyond that..been in and out of therapy since I was 15 years old..been on soo many meds, nothing has helped me, nothing can take away the thoughts of the abuse I went through.
  15. SilentScream

    SilentScream Well-Known Member

    You are worthy my time and I'm sure that I'm not the only one who would love to take his time for you..

    And you say that you CANNOT stay alive anymore.. but you know. sometimes you have to beat the NOT so you CAN.. and I'd love to help you with that; and again I'm sure that I'm not the only one!

    And in my opinion you HAVE to stay alive and you WILL stay alive! :)
  16. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    Don't give up, we all know how it feels, and we are here for you, we are here for eachother. Vent, yell, scream if you have to, we are listening and we do care. Maybe start a journal on here, one others can read. I was scared of doing that but I did it and it really helps. When people message me about the things I have posted in my journal it reaffirms for me that people care and I always get some good advice. Please, let us help you carry your pain, we all need eachother from time to time.
  17. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    How old are you now if you don't mind me asking?
  18. I am currently 23
  19. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    Well I can understand your frustration,I presume you've not had constant counselling these last eight years? Did you ever find a counsellor you could really open up to about everything that's happened? Do your family understand how desperate your feeling right now? Sorry for bombarding you with questions x
  20. my family hates me..they've accused me over and over again of breaking up the family by coming out about the abuse my dad put me through. I literally have no one, I'm alone and it doesn't matter because I'll be gone soon. You guys have to swear to me you won't try to track me down and have me locked away, This is my choice, i can't stay alive for anyone else, i can only do it for myself and I can't do that. I was in counseling from 15-18 all different counselors, i'd start to open up and my mom would yank me from that counselor and make me start completely over with a new one. I finally just gave up, I started again almost 2 months ago and this counselor is cool I just can't open up to him, I know that if I'm completely 100% honest with him he will hospitalize me and I can't handle that
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