losing it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by littlerunnaway22, Feb 20, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. On the outside my life looks alright. I have a wonderful fiance, and it hurts so bad to know that I cannot not explain these thoughts, these feelings with him. I honestly don't believe he'd understand. But every single day I want to end my life. I think about it all the time, even when things are good.
    I am haunted by my past, even though it's so far in the past. Sure, I had some counceling, and I tell people it's what made me. But it broke me, it really did. I often wonder what kind of life I would have had if it weren't for those terrible years. Most nights I dream about it. I just can't stop living those moments over and over again.
    My anxiety is quickly becoming crippling. I can't handle simple tasks anymore. Like going shopping, or talking on the phone. I have more and more days where I just cannot get out of my room. I'm sacred, scared to death. And I have no idea why.
    I know that someday just dreaming about these things will not be good enough. I just don't know how to ask for help.

    I'm not worth the time you've spent reading this really. I'm sorry.
  2. Prox

    Prox Active Member

    No, no. You're worth every bit.

    You have to find a way to speak. It's for the best. Your loved ones want you to speak! If you're worried about them, think about how they'll feel if they discover that you've killed yourself without any sort of warning.

    But think about yourself. Think about how much better things could be if you just broke through the haze and did something! You don't HAVE to settle for the nothing that you'll find in death (or even the Hell, if some religions are right!), you could be happy like I know you want to be. All you need is just a little help.

    Just take the first step. Speak!
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.