Losing it

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sadcat, Sep 18, 2012.

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  1. sadcat

    sadcat Well-Known Member

    I think I am losing it completely.

    Just got scammed - I think. Was helping a very sick person, and they seem to not be validating. Meaning that I currently think that they are a phoney. Of course, it is impossible to know. But it sure seems it. So i am very upset about this. No, I am way past very upset. I have been sitting up nights for a week crying my eyes out for this person, and now I think that they are just messing with me. Ironically, I am happy they are not so sick. But my emotions are so confused - I am almost not happy either.

    Am suffering from a really bad pulminary problem for the last couple of weeks. It has made my life a living hell. Am taking a ton of additional meds. Am coughing all the time; wheezing, and short of breath.

    As if that was not enough - I am feeling the effects of my cancer meds and my latest cancer tests very heavily. The results scare me to distraction. This is making me very depressed (sad and angry). It is also giving me a lot of extra anxiety (worrying about things in the furture) . On top of that, I seem to have asked too often some questions of some of my doctors and they are doing nasty things to express that I have offended them by my mistrust issues. Their action are adding lots of new anxiety for me. How can they not understand my delema? I am just scared.

    I feel so lost. I feel that even the doctors are making my life worse. I have very little trust for doctors in the first place- since I have in the past had so much difficulty dealing with doctors and their tech and office staffs. This latest bit with the doctors is just so much worse than ever before. It must be me. Is it possible that so many others could be the cause of this? I do not know any more.

    I have been catching myself saying things and doing things that I do not consider appropriate. And worse, I do not even care. I feel so upset. I do not know what to do to change this. I just feel that I am on a sinking ship. Just took some anti-anxiety meds (immediate type) to try to reduce some of my stress levels. But I do not think that the medicine is going to help me.

    I think I am about to go over the perverbial cliff - and frankly - I am not too sure I care right now. I think I am in trouble with something - and consider that suicidal efforts will follow very shortly. I feel completely lost and like I am losing it.

    Thoughts needed.

  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    :hug: It's a sad situation, and one I've been in. On the one hand, you don't want the person to be sick; but on the other, you don't like being lied to, your emotions messed with. It's a cruel thing to do to anyone.

    You have every right to ask questions of your doctors. It's your treatment, your body, and you deserve to know what's going on. Maybe they don't realize this because they've never been there. But when something's happening to you, you want to get as many answers as possible.

    Please try to hold on! I know you feel like you're on the edge right now, and it may be hard for you to care. I just want you to know I care. :arms: Here if you need anything!
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