Losing, loser, lost.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Acy, Jun 15, 2011.

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  1. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Unemployed for five years at regular work. Fired from part-time job that I got through my father and let go once he was no longer there. No skills for a real job - I apply, apply, apply, apply, apply - three interview in five years. !5 years in the workforce behind me and nothing they can use now. Hard to believe. Must be some vibe I give off.

    Yesterday, my father asked me (ad my sister laughed at what he said), "So, you're not a corner selling pencils, yet, eh?"

    Today my p-doc refilled my script for pain medication. I know these meds mixed with my others make me do very high risk things. I live up on a high floor of my building. I kept telling the p-doc I just need my foot-stool to climber over the ledge.

    "Call and update me on how you're feeling" he said.

    I bought the pain medication. I have - I am - NOTHING to lose.

    P-doc is suggesting I volunteer at something now - an idea he pooh-poohed a year ago as being a waste of time for finding a job. Now he just wants me doing "something" rather than being "dead in the water". What he doesn't realize that all along I've been looking at volunteer posts as well as paid posts and I don't called in for anything. I send in applications. NOBODY wants me.

    I'm a loser. No use to anything or anyone. Not someone that an employer will want - not even someone who can "volunteer".

    I have enough savings to get by a few months more. My lawyer was supposed to contact my ex to re-open a spousal support case. I'm applying for jobs (I rarely get interviews never get job offers.) I'm not "good enough" to be taken on by temp agencies. Volunteer managers never call me back.

    The lure of finding a way out forever is very tempting. The mix of meds at my disposal makes me very confused and more likely to take action on a whim.

    I hate myself.
  2. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend


    I hope things go better soon for you.
  3. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    hey :hug: we want you and need you hun.... you most certainly are not a loser :hug:

    perhaps your CV needs rewriting or something... its amazing what you can do with them with a bit of messing around. but whatever - you are much needed and wanted here. please don't go messing with those meds :unsure: :hugtackles:
  4. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Hi Acy...

    You are something to me, a person who offers wisdom, thought, caring and love.

    Practically, i can only offer some thoughts on my experience.
    I completely changed careers at 39, through my depression and the recession, damn, they even rhyme.

    Volunteer work can be found in schools and mental health( even if its just a cup of tea and a bent ear)
    I used a volunteer bank for a while, but got nothing.
    So i went direct, by this i mean i literally knocked on doors, they need people, world over, and there will always be people who need support. I volunteered for 18 months, still do.
    I have a serious-ish criminal past but still after checks, patience and an acceptence of hawkeyes, i am now trusted with kids and vunerable adults, have got part time work.
    And a few interviews.
    I may have low grade quals right now, but i have a wealth of life experience and im giving it to those kids as best i can.
    Stay safe and loved Acy, pm me if you want some ears and kind words.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 15, 2011
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You aren't a loser. :hug: You mean a lot to us here, and you have so much to give.

    I know the feeling of wanting a job and not being able to get one. I'm doing the same as you ... applying, not getting called back, even looking for volunteer positions and being unable to find them. But that doesn't mean we don't have any worth, or that we're losers. It just means the job market sucks!!

    Please try to remember that you matter to us! :arms:
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I'm going to come over there and clobber you over the head!
    Useless indeed :mad: and what would we do without your loving personality around the place?!
    As Ali said, the job market completely sucks at the moment, but wandering into your local soup kitchen, special needs schools (I did that and ended up teaching there for a year), whatever is in your area...go in, present self, get snapped up!

    :hug: :hug: :hug:
  7. Monoka

    Monoka Well-Known Member

    hope things get better for you.
  8. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist


    What you wrote brought tears to my eyes. I'm not sure if I should admit that or not. You have been there for me in the past and are a huge part of this community by all accounts and from I can see in the short time I have been here.

    You are not a loser or anything of the sort.

    The job market is tight. I can't tell you in my own experience, how many applicants i've had come talk with me, but I've had no openings. Its tough. Also a lot of folks who were let go from high paying jobs have had to take lower paying jobs reducing the number of those types of jobs for the rest of us. Its not just one factor, its a horrible combination of multiple factors.

    I agree re volunteering and just going door to door, offer your services in what field interests you. You never, ever know where things will lead. Funds are tight so of course non profit organizations especially are looking for folks who give a shit and who will do whatever they are doing correctly.

    Can you update your skills with any online courses or similar? Or night courses? i'm not sure what type of job or industry you are looking for.

    Again, you are not a loser, you are in the same boat as lots and lots of folks.

    Please take care of you.
  9. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry about your situation Acy, I hope things will get better sooner rather then later. There is lot's of love for you around here. I feel things will turn around for you. You deserve it :hug:

    It certainly is a tough job market out there with unemployment being around 10% in some areas. Don't be too hard on yourself.

    You have your life to lose that is a very important thing, you only get one chance on this world. You do not seem to be getting the treatment you deserve which is very unfortunate.

    Hang in there, take things day by day try not to worry about the future just focus on the moment and what you can control.

    I understand your predicament and why you feel so badly about to the circumstances.
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