at that point now where i was settled for a few days without any craziness, but today I was angered by someone giving it the big 'i am'. Now I'm experiencing hell again, where my brain and bieng are seperated, nothing feels like me, its like bieng shot out to space as the mind tackles pulling itself together. im thinking of reasons why its become unstable, there must of been some action or behavior i did that didn't ring true so i subconsciously went to the lookout point to rethink it and put it together again. see this is what happens when you fuck with nature, all that is real to me vanishes, my brain panics, i try to recover from that panic to my former condition, and when i do my universe is reduced to a tiny spec on the radar. each night before i go to sleep. i pray that speck is gone the next day.