Hi am Adam one of the teen alters . am feeling really bad.
things are hard , having to face up to things like the abuse , we all went through it.
But its really getting to me right now and there is no one to talk to about it because we cant get a therapist because our last therapist broke our trust and we are not putting faith in someone else.
we can talk to the host husband about how we are feeling witch i have tonight, it helped some but it dragged up some other stuff.
I feel like am going crazy with the flashbacks am having of ritual abuse what i was made to do because they got there kicks out of making us do these things some of it i cant talk about as it makes me feel ashamed
the feelings are so strong that i want to end it right here and now.
the only thing that is stopping me is that id end up killing everyone in the system or maybe that would put us all out of our misery.
Want to take an OD but the host husband have the pills were we cant get them, because of past ODs the host and other alters have done in the past.
The only thing i can do is smoke us to death and we limited on how many smokes we have because the hosts husband want to make sure we arent smoking too much that will makes the bodys asthma worse.
Fuck i don't care any more
id do something now if i could but there are so many restrictions on us because of rules of the system and the hosts husband dont allow things like OD ing and drinking in the house.
Maybe if i cut and keep cutting i'll be better anything to make the thoughts and feelings go away
Some one talk to me please am losing my fucking mind here
Adam
things are hard , having to face up to things like the abuse , we all went through it.
But its really getting to me right now and there is no one to talk to about it because we cant get a therapist because our last therapist broke our trust and we are not putting faith in someone else.
we can talk to the host husband about how we are feeling witch i have tonight, it helped some but it dragged up some other stuff.
I feel like am going crazy with the flashbacks am having of ritual abuse what i was made to do because they got there kicks out of making us do these things some of it i cant talk about as it makes me feel ashamed
the feelings are so strong that i want to end it right here and now.
the only thing that is stopping me is that id end up killing everyone in the system or maybe that would put us all out of our misery.
Want to take an OD but the host husband have the pills were we cant get them, because of past ODs the host and other alters have done in the past.
The only thing i can do is smoke us to death and we limited on how many smokes we have because the hosts husband want to make sure we arent smoking too much that will makes the bodys asthma worse.
Fuck i don't care any more
id do something now if i could but there are so many restrictions on us because of rules of the system and the hosts husband dont allow things like OD ing and drinking in the house.
Maybe if i cut and keep cutting i'll be better anything to make the thoughts and feelings go away
Some one talk to me please am losing my fucking mind here
Adam