My family, they have been the center of my world for as long as I can remember, they also have been my reason or excuses to stick around. I would of ended it long ago. Lately though they are making it so hard to stay, my mom is probably the only one now that keeps me from taking the last step and carrying out my plans but I can see that she grows tired of my bad out look on life. I already know that after her death I will not stick around. Now I think I just might check out a little earlier Do not get me wrong I love them all, and would miss any of them dearly if something happened to them, but my older siblings and parents survived long before I was born and should do fine after I am gone. As for my younger siblings only one more to be married and I will be the only single child left of the whole crew, and they sure do not need me anymore once they are married. I just can not grasp what makes them happy, I must be broken. They are a family of optimist, I am the ONLY pessimist, and not a day goes by that they do not remind me how wonderful life is. I just put on a fake smile and try to agree. Just left my parents house early because of my sisters comments to me, I know in her happy, happy mind she did not mean it, but again when someone upsets me it is never asked what did they say to upset me, but what is my problem for getting so upset. I feel like just going to the bank in the morning cashing out everything and get this ball a rolling.