I understand and can really relate to you where you are at. It seems that things happen that push us to far over that edge and I know how you feel about not taking it anymore. It seems hopeless and it seems that one may never make it back from there.
I am sorry I don't know all that you are facing right now and I know it seems that you can't see a way out.. I know I can't tell you that it will get better. I wish I could and that would be a great answer. I am in the same space and am reaching out to you in hope that you will keep trying to keep on and let us support you and help you walk through this darkness.. I know what is the point? It is very difficult to hang on and in there and listen to others who really care about you. We all are in different stages in our life right now. Some going through more than others and hopefully we will see a little itty bitty tiny light somewhere at the end of the tunnel or the deep dark pit that overshadows what we are going through. Just knowing somebody is listening and really cares also, helps, even though, we want to give up and give in to the darkness that breaks our heart or spirit. Talking it out and reaching out like you are, helps a little, so that you know you aren't alone, touch base with someone to help bring you back from that edge, even if for a short time, and help you work through it, bring you back to reality.. even though it is bad situation, maybe the next day, you will feel a little stronger to deal with and then it happens all over again.. like a roller coaster, maybe?
I am at a lost for words and I know that there isn't anything that I can offer except to let you know that I really care about you and what you are going through. I hope you will continue hanging in there with us. Keep talking to us. Don't shut us out. I am speaking from my heart and experience.
I am so in the pit of despair in my being from situation that is happening in my life right now also, and I know how hard it is to reach out and not do what one feels like doing.. maybe there are some options.. solutions.. I don't know. I am in the same position and not looking forward to another new year since this is very heavy and it seems the same for me. No way out. Just grab my hand and our hands here, to walk through this somehow. I try to listen to others and read, if I am up to it,(which is hard to concentrate and focus when going through something that seems like there is no way out) somebody who has overcome amazing problems om their life, when all was lost and looked hopeless and how did they make it through that.. when there was NO light and it seemed impossible to ever see that way out. I know. Easy for me to say, since even though, some days it has helped me a little, and most days it hasn't. Just seems never ending. Please keep trying to hang in there somehow and keep reaching out to us.
You are not a weak person at all but somebody who is deeply wounded and hurting not matter the circumstance your life is in. I know.. I am sorry as I seem to ramble on to much here but I wanted to let you know that you are cared for alot here. We wouldn't be here if we didn't care and we all have been there or going through hard times in our lifes. I hope this helped a little.