Losing the will to fight

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by SAVE_ME, Sep 24, 2011.

  1. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    I feel like I'm losing the will to fight. Losing what little energy I had left. I'm re-gaining some of the weight I had lost and I just don't feel like getting up or going out much anymore. It's not fair. For the past nine months I've had to really fecking fight to get better and now just like that it's creeping back up on me. I feel disgusting and ugly, and feel like everywhere I go, everything I do that everyone is looking down on me all the time. I feel like a zoo creature...just here to give everyone something freaky to stare at. Everytime I see myself in a reflection I just think: "Kill it with fire!!"
     
  2. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    hey.

    i hope you'll stick around and post on here.

    we want to be here for you:)

    believe me when i say this, there are loads of people on this forum going through how you feel.

    i myself can relate to almost everything you've said on your message.

    is there anything you really enjoy?

    maybe trying doing more of that (what ever it may be)

    take care
     
  3. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    I did enjoy going to the gym to keep fit but then I let it become a comparison between me and everybody else who goes there. See, whenever I do something right I can never hold onto that victory for long. I'm always aiming for better. I'm always looking at what somebody else has got instead of just being happy with what I've got and holding onto it. I feel like the grass is always greener on the other side. I partly blame society for this because they're always bombarding us with images of "perfect" people. They're always urging us to be perfect and telling us that anything less than perfect is unacceptable. I used to be overweight and I used to enjoy exercise for the simple purpose of being fitter and healthier. But then I get told "Oh, you're so skinny now, you need to tone up!" WTF!! And now I've lost sight of what I originally wanted to do. I constantly feel judged by everybody. I feel sick of being me. I just want to look normal.