this always feels like im losing my mind. im not sure who i am anymore. why couldnt thinks have just worked the other night.. and lastnight.. i really dont want to be here.. why did i let that person talk me out of something that surely would have killed me. guilt i think.. at how much trouble it would have made your people.. i lied. i said id be okay but i just got worse when i got back.. id give anything to just not be here right now.