Today at 8:30am, my uncle passed away. He was in a comatose state for about 2 months now, and showed no signs of recovering, so I knew this was coming. And today they finally pulled the plug and let him go. The loss doesn't hurt too much right now, but I know it'll hit me sooner or later and I hope I'm ready for when it does. At the same time, I have a lot to be grateful for because of him. The past few weeks I've been going through the worst depression I've ever felt. It's been unbearable at times, and I've had so many thoughts that I wish I hadn't. Yesterday I was absolutely alone, everyone in my life was either gone somewhere or busy for the day, and all my thoughts and feelings over the past few weeks had culminated to the point where I was planning to take my life. But in the end I couldn't bring myself to do it. I don't have much family anymore, in fact I only see two family members, but I couldn't imagine the pain they'd feel after losing a brother/son just to find out that I was gone too. In a way, the loss of my uncle may have postponed my choice to end my life for just a little longer. But the feelings are still there, and it's getting harder and harder to get by each day. I just hope I'm ready when the realization that he's gone hits.