Loss of my brother...

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by LenaLunacy, May 7, 2008.

  1. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I lost my brother, Matt, 3 months ago to suicide. He wasn't my blood brother, but he lived with us, and he may aswell have been, ya know?
    Anyway, he took his life, and for the last 3 months myself and my sisters got on with life, putting all our efforts into distracting ourselves.
    Iv been doing pretty well, my self harmings come back pretty bad, and iv got deeper, but *shrugs*
    My sisters however, recently, have started to stutter...My oldest sister, Alyssa is throwing herself into flings with random guys, one night stands, that sorta stuff, and Amanda has turned to God and has gone all religious on us, calling us 'heathens' ( i don't know what that even means!)
    I know this isn't like them, i know theyr going through alot, and i'm trying to keep it together for them. I want to help them, to see that nothing can fill the emptines now he's gone, but i don't know what to do.
    I don't like to see them like this :(

    Aimee X
  2. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello, we talked yesterday on chat. You can always drop a note for me if you want to talk more. :hug:
  3. Choma

    Choma Member

    I'm really sorry about your brother.

    My thoughts on the family situation:
    Bring them together again! I once observed a similar situation (no one died, but the family was torn apart for a reason I won't go in to). The oldest brother brought the whole family together again with family days out, having plenty of real deep conversations together about everything that had happened and also having dinner around a table all together with no TV on, and everyone just talked about their days.
    Most important is love. Let them know that you love them. Even just saying "I love you" often enough does SO much.

    I wouldn't worry about Amanda as much as Alyssa. Alyssa is most likely looking for someone to fill the void your brother has left. One night stands give her physical closeness, which temporarily fills the void. What she doesn't realise is by doing this, she's actually doing serious long term damage to herself. You can fill the void by being a loving sister and talking about everything that's happened with her instead of the two of you going off and trying to deal with it by yourselves.

    You three have GOT to come together. The couple of years following any tragedy are critical. Your actions as sisters at this point decide whether your brother's death will tear your family apart and damage you or bring you closer together.

    I'll be praying for your situation. If you want to message me, please feel more than free.