Well this happened in may 2d She was a good friend from high school but since Id moved south to Toulouse, we "kinda" lost contact and would phone each other once every 2 months. whenever Id go back to visit my parents', we d hang out. I can perfectly remember the last time I saw her, 4 days before she killed herself. Coffee and girls talk, she actually was upset with her parents divorce, bf break up and failing college. her parents are friends with mine ( they live 2 streets across mine), they had always put high espectations on her. she was failing for second time the medical school because ( thats my opinion), she had low self esteem and had been depressed( for as far as I know) since teenager years. she had tried meds and said i was a great confort to her, talking about depression ( been bipolar). However, she d say it ll pass. she was found hung 4 days afterwards in her parents backyard; At first I was shocked( first she had NEVER attempted, then thinking i wont see her again hurt ), but never cried on it, nor thought a lot about it. I know this is weird and that you will say that ple grieve the way they can. Anyhow, although I hate seeing her parents grieving and feel for them, I totally understand her even tho i first thought that was not the best solution and well Im not grieving. I kinda miss her of course but im not thinking of her in a sad way. Weird huh? Same happened with my grand ma i lost to cancer ( we were very very close). that time I cried for several days, and then nothing. not even thinking really about it. Ive come to the conclusion that, besides my own suicidial thoughts, I ve become THAT familiar with death, ( even the most painful ones, as suicide). Feels kind of weird to be that insentive. I thought Id post about it because i didnt find a post i could really relate to this feeling of nothingness.