lost a friend to suicide.

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by LILICHIPIE, Jan 16, 2008.


    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    Well this happened in may 2d

    She was a good friend from high school but since Id moved south to Toulouse, we "kinda" lost contact and would phone each other once every 2 months. whenever Id go back to visit my parents', we d hang out. I can perfectly remember the last time I saw her, 4 days before she killed herself.

    Coffee and girls talk, she actually was upset with her parents divorce, bf break up and failing college. her parents are friends with mine ( they live 2 streets across mine), they had always put high espectations on her. she was failing for second time the medical school because ( thats my opinion), she had low self esteem and had been depressed( for as far as I know) since teenager years. she had tried meds and said i was a great confort to her, talking about depression ( been bipolar). However, she d say it ll pass.

    she was found hung 4 days afterwards in her parents backyard; At first I was shocked( first she had NEVER attempted, then thinking i wont see her again hurt ), but never cried on it, nor thought a lot about it. I know this is weird and that you will say that ple grieve the way they can. Anyhow, although I hate seeing her parents grieving and feel for them, I totally understand her even tho i first thought that was not the best solution and well Im not grieving. I kinda miss her of course but im not thinking of her in a sad way.
    Weird huh?
    Same happened with my grand ma i lost to cancer ( we were very very close). that time I cried for several days, and then nothing. not even thinking really about it.
    Ive come to the conclusion that, besides my own suicidial thoughts, I ve become THAT familiar with death, ( even the most painful ones, as suicide).
    Feels kind of weird to be that insentive.
    I thought Id post about it because i didnt find a post i could really relate to this feeling of nothingness.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 16, 2008
  2. supergalley

    supergalley Member

    Just remember that these people live on through you. You are their living monument and as long as you remember them, they still exist. Remember when people die, you appreciate them more and remember their good characteristics. My Dad died when I was 14 and I remember him as my hero. If he was alive now I would no doubt be taking him for granted!
    These people have affected the development of your personality and changed you. They are therefore still in existance and will still carry on being so as the changes reflected in you will be reflected in your interactions with other people and your children.
  3. nicesinging1

    nicesinging1 Well-Known Member

    Hi, Agnes. Sorry to hear about your friend's death. My condolences for her and I hope she is finally in peace free of pains in Heaven.
    It seems she had to go through a lot of stress at med school. In U.S., medical school is so intensely competitive that it is really tough to get in let alone have chance to compete in medical school. It is not hard to find med. school student with a lot of stress and going through depression which might have been the case of your friend.
    Did she also try therapy along with meds? Often, trying both therapy and anti-depressants is the best way in treating depression.
    Finally, I hope you will be able to bounce back from events like this and help other friends near you who might be suffering from depression and bipolar.
    Take care

  4. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    I totally agree witn you and thats maybe why Im not grieving as much
    Like i said i remember her in a good way and as being suicidial and about to do it; i have forgiven her and understand her

    Death is another step beyond, theres nothing to be afraid of
    Its not just words I mean them
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    i am sorry for your loss :hug: