I would like to share my story here because I feel really desperate. I feel like my life has ended - despite the fact that I am only 32. All my life I had been very shy, afraid of people, with strong social anxiety. I never felt safe and well at home, there were always arguments, I just didn't want to be there. I was bullied a lot at secondary school and was afraid of every day I had to go there, it was terrible. College was more neutral, no friends, no bullying, only a lot of studying, no fun. After college it got a little better, i, got a relatively good job. I had no friends but wasn't really bullied. I also had a boyfriend, although the relationship was far from perfect. Then I moved abroad because of another job. It was supposed to be the best time in my life, good achievement and all. And it seemed even better - i met a guy who seemed to light the spark of real love in me. It was the first time in my life I was happy. The first time I could connect to someone. I broke up with my previous boyfriend because of him. I was more confident and started to even make some friends. However, the relationship wasvery important to me and it made me anxious. This guy was very sociable and popular amongst his friends. Because I was very anxious I was afraid of them. They started to criticise me, saying that i was too quiet. My boyfriend didn't defend me much. Actually he stopped inviting me to their common events. And i knew it was an issue because i wasn't capable of participating in any conversation or fun with them. But I loved him so much. It was the only time i had true feelings. However, he broke up with me in the end, the reason being that i was not capable of being part of the group of his friends. It was terrible bacause i lost him, it was incredibly painful. It was so painful that my brain couldn't take it and one day my feelings just switched off.. I had a total breakdown. This happened three months ago. I haven't been able to feel anything since then. I even had some delusions for a while, although these have stopped now. It was an incredible disappointment for me. I invested so much, I left my previous boyfriend because of him and then i lost him because of my usual issue - social anxiety. I have fallen into an abyss of depression. I started to be afraid of everyone, i can no longer talk to people again. Since the break up things have only gone worse. Suddenly everyone started to turn their back on me. This is a time when i would need friends more than anything else but they all started to withdraw from me. And there started to be signs of bullying at work. From the most happy me i suddenly became a complete wreck. I am scared all the time. It feels like secondary school again. I don't know how it could have happened so suddenly. Everyone has left me all of a sudden. I am completely lonely. I am trying to connect with people but it's difficult. They are not interested anymore. The worst thing is that I had hope for things getting better and then I lost it again. I am tired of constantly fighting and always losing. I am sorry for this long litany, but just wanted to share with other people who feel something similar and can understand. Thank you for this opportunity.