I could tell you a sad story, but in the grand scheme of things my life hasn't been that bad. I'm 32, lost my mom when I was 13 and my dad is currently on his death bed from years of drinking. I have a beautiful wife and amazing daughter. We live with her parents while my wife works, daughter goes to a great Montessori preschool and I sit in my room drinking and smoking herb all day. I try and shape surfboards as. Much as I can for money, but I'm either drunk or too lazy to get to work. I'd love to tell you what's going on in my mind, but it's a million things at once and can't really focus on one thing. I have a problem living in the past and can't seem to move on with my life. When I'm not high or drunk I'm constantly in fear. Not sure what of?, but it's the equivalent of waking up in the middle of the night after a nightmare, just that feeling never leaves. Doctors prescribed me Ativan, but it doesn't work. I've decided to paddle out and let the current take me wherever it's going. Maybe I'll end up in japan.