I am not kidding when I say I think about about suicide every second of my life. This has been going on for 2 years and just gets progressively worse. I would end it all but I'm too weak and pathetic. I tried overdosing once but chickened out because I was afraid to fail and wake up. If there was a pill that could kill you and not feel any pain I would take it right away. I have no one to talk to. I don't have the kind of relationship that most daughters or sons have with their parents. Every time my parents talk to me it's about schoolwork nothing else. My brother calls me ugly, fat, *****, tells me I have no friends, that I should just kill myself, that no one cares about me. I don't mind much though because I agree with him. I've tried therapy but it was hard to open up to a stranger and talk about my feelings. Medication doesn't work for me either. I dropped out of high school because every morning I would get panic attacks and I never could pay attention in school because I was thinking of ways to kill myself. I would always put a smile on my face and be the nicest I could be to my friends and everyone around me but it drained all of me and when I get home I just isolate myself from my family because I needed time to regenerate. I'm not as close with my friends as I was before because of my homeschooling. I have no one to talk to, nobody to socialize with. <mod edit - guidelines>. Living is just a constant struggle.