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Lost all hope

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Borrowed time*, Aug 20, 2010.

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  1. Borrowed time*

    Borrowed time* Well-Known Member

    Im at the point again where i dont see a point to my life. I now know how im going to do it and i researched where yesterday, its just a case of when now. I realised i really have just given up.
    I have been in contact with the samaritans for about a week now and it has been great to be listened to. It is good to get all my feelings out but it hasnt changed my mindset. Its just nice to have some one listen without feeling selfish and like you are taking all the attention away from some one who really needs it.
    I dont feel sad anymore or scared just numb. My life is such a waste that there really is no point, im only here for when my family needs something from me. They dont want me any other time. I used to think i didnt mind, didnt want there love and acceptance but i did want it, i did need it. Now its too late. Anything they do now would just feel like a lie.
    I still have no friends and my nerves are shot to peices. I cant even go into chat with out feeling nervy and sick. If any one trys to talk to me i panic and leave. For me this is totally rude but i cant help it. I want to talk but i just dont no what to say or what people will ask me. Its probably 10 times worse in life. Ill talk to people and interact but only when i have to and i never instigate it. Im so sick of plastering a smile on my face so im not branded as grumpy any more.
    Sorry for the long post and thank you for reading
    Take care every one
  2. Blue_Sky

    Blue_Sky Well-Known Member

    I felt panicy posting on here at first, I don't even know why, I have a hard time talking to people too and have no friends either. Wish I could give you some kind of advice besides "don't give up", but this is something I struggle with too. That's great you are talking to them, if you need anyone else to talk to, you can pm me.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You need to get out and do things that you enjoy okay find something you love doing anything and do it bring life back to you camping boating arts anything and do it
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I can feel you friend, I am sorry I cannot say more. However, if you are at a point of being numb why not ride it out? After all, you do not feel anything.

    I don't know terrible advice... people tell me things will get better... you just have to be patient.
  5. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    If you can find the will to message me you have a friend here. I want to know all about you and why you are sad in detail. Please PM me I don't want you to die :'(

    Please, please, please PM me.
  6. bsbsegal

    bsbsegal New Member

    First of all, if you feel grumpy and don't want to plaster on a smile, feel no need to do so :) Everyone can get into a bad mood, and if you feel the need that it's taking over your life, take some time for yourself.

    You're no doubt special. Everyone is. I think it is a remarkable step that you're reaching out. People need people, and if you find yourself with no one to talk to, please reach out to us here. We're here to help and offer honest, sensible advice.

    You will regain or gain that sense of hope back. It just takes time. We're all rooting for you :)
  7. Endlessagony

    Endlessagony Seeker

    I know how you feel man, I have the same difficulties as you. If you want you can pm me. I won't judge you, I know what it's like.
  8. Borrowed time*

    Borrowed time* Well-Known Member

    Thats just it, i dont enjoy anything anymore, even my pets, i just go through the motions with feeding, cleaning out but i cant say i enjoy it any more. Im letting them all go any way, to better homes.

    How patient do i have to be? Iv been thinking of death since as far back as i can remember. Not just mine but my familys, teachers every one. At least this way i can have control over what happens to me.
  9. Borrowed time*

    Borrowed time* Well-Known Member

    Thank you both for the offers but i wouldnt no what to say really in a PM. I only really start/reply to my threads on spur of the moment thoughts. Im not an interesting person and thats not self pitty. Iv been described by people who no me as nice and polite but never interesting or some one to invite out. I did find out that a new starter at work thought i was scary :rolleyes: which kind of made me laugh. I guess iv just got that look about me when i dont smile all the time.
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