Lost and broken

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thewretched, Jul 1, 2014.

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  1. thewretched

    thewretched New Member

    Recently thoughts of suicide have flooded my head. I really don't know if I should keep living. The people inside my head tell me to and want me dead, along with everyone else. I'm at the peak of my depressive episode and I need help. I'm a threat to myself and others. I have kitchen knives and I don't know if I can keep on living. Every day is a struggle with paranoia, anxiety and sadness flooding me. Tomorrow I have a therapist appointment. If I tell him how severe my suicide risk is, will I go to the ER or mental hospital? I don't want to go, I need to. If I don't get help soon I'll end up dead. Advice?
     
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Hmm...I'd probably find my way to the hospital if I were you: you sort of answered your question yourself (I don't want to, but I need to). If you're safe enough to wait until your appointment tomorrow, then do that, and just be as completely honest with them as you can. Lying won't get you anywhere. If not, then call for help; or have someone else do it for you. It's not so bad--the hospital. Look at it this way - you're sick--& you need help. This is about the best way to get that in this situation. It's your brain we're talking about here. If it were your heart would you do anything differently? Or even give it a second thought? Good luck! And nice name by-the-way... -mrb
     
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, please do not fret now. I understand it's difficult but you need to focus on living. I can understand the anguish and the hurt you are going through but living is important. You need to throw the kitchen knives away and stop over-thinking as that does not help. Please speak to someone like a helpline if you do not want tell your counsellor.

    Everyday is hard but you are not suffering alone as you need to keep posting here. People here will help and get you through the tough times. Please keep posting and take care.
     
  4. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    You need to be open and honest with your therapist. It may mean that you do need hospitalisation. Nobody ever wants to be hospitalised, but it is probably the best thing for you at this moment in time, especially as you believe to be a risk to others.
     
  5. Suess

    Suess Member

    The word "broken" caught my attention. That is what my former fiance kept saying. He kept saying he was broken. Now he is gone and now he really is broken. The memory he left behind for his family is not a good one. They have basically erased his memory and hate him for leaving this world without at least reaching out to them. They have said "he couldn't have given a crap about any of us or he would have at least called before he did this". In the beginning, they all fought over who gets his stuff and spewed horrible lies about him
    for which he was unable to defend himself against. His family didn't have a service or even an obituary for him. He life is erased. He was a good man, but the way he chose to leave this world tarnished the good memories and left his family with nothing but hate for him.

    Nothing is permanent. Go to therapy and get help. 2 years from now you will look back and say "whew, I'm glad I didn't check out back then"
     
  6. BipolarOne

    BipolarOne Active Member

    I hope you were able to get to your therapist today. And I hope that person was helpful. Working through the thoughts and coming out the other side can be such a relief. The feelings and ideas you have are just that-feelings and thoughts. Feelings and thoughts are fleeting. They don't last. Death is permanent, and there is do over. A good therapist can help you through your toughest times, and also help you stay out of the hospital. If you still feel you are a real threat to yourself or others, and cannot work through the voices, thoughts and feelings, ask your therapist to help you get into a hospital. If you go in on a voluntary basis it is best. Once there, you will find others with different stories but similar feelings, and sharing with them can be very cathartic. It is the patients in the hospital who help each other. The staff is just there to keep you safe. Don't be afraid of the hospital. And at the same time, if you can work through your pain, you may not need to go in. Keep posting here. Just writing down your thoughts sometimes is in itself therapeutic. Getting the thoughts out of your head by talking about them and writing them down helps to alleviate the pain. I wish you continued life.
     
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